


Salvation

by 01shane01



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Mostly Fluff, and feelings, its disgusting really, some smutt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-22 03:12:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3712672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/01shane01/pseuds/01shane01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 2x16. Lexa and Clarke find each other again and Lexa gets it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this for weeks now. I have like three more chapters done already so I will probably post again next week.  
> I hope you all enjoy.  
> Find me on Tumblr at 01shane01

You have been wandering the woods for a while now, doing what you must to stay alive, but killing rabbits and other small animals seems easy compared to what you have done. The image replays itself in your memory every night when you try to sleep. The one that you stood and watched as hundreds of people; Men, women, and children, died.

  
For a few days, you try to let Bellamy’s parting words sink in. You try to let his forgiveness wash over you and make you feel like what you did was forgiveable.

  
It wasn’t.

  
It isn’t.

  
But it was the right thing to do.

  
You did it for your people and in that moment that you were stood in the control room, it dawned on you how Lexa could betray you so easily for her people. She had to do what was best for them, just like you had to.

  
But you had made an agreement with yourself not to think about that… any of it.

  
It doesn’t take long before you have mapped out most of the area that you were going to stick to. You avoid Mount Weather at all costs because you cannot bear to go back there. For the first two days, you did entertain the idea of going and burying all of those people who you killed, but as you start making your way to the mountain, you realise that you should probably just leave them. Let it be their final resting place.

  
The first time that you encounter any Grounders, you panic. The only weapon you had was a small pistol and there was a group of about five of them stood in front of you. You don’t want to waste ammo and some of them you recognise, others you don’t. They seemed as lost as you did, as if no one had thought to tell them that the alliance was over now that the war was as well. They moved past you after a minute, nodding their heads to you in acknowledgement, respect maybe. Ever since then, you could have sworn that you could see movement out of the corner of your eye every now and again. When you realised that they were not hunting you, you relax and eventually, you don’t see them anymore.

  
It is difficult getting used to living alone, but you do it.

  
Winter came and you set up a temporary camp for yourself. You collected materials to make a tent and stored some food for when the animals would be less inclined to come out of their dens. You store water and try and keep a pile of wood as dry as possible so that you could continue to feed a fire. You realise pretty quickly that you should have started preparing for winter a lot sooner because you don’t have any kind of blankets or anything really to protect you from the cold. You light a fire inside of your tent, making sure that the flames won’t get too high, you let yourself fall asleep each night, and each night you suffer in the cold, it seems to get easier to drift off.

  
Nightmares don’t haunt you as much now, but you still see their burnt bodies when you close your eyes. You can still smell their irradiated flesh with your first and last breath of the day.

  
Sometimes you dream about those eyes, framed in black war paint, like a light in the darkness.

  
Xx

  
Several months have passed now and you wonder if you have been alone for too long. You made peace with your decisions. You aren’t sure when, but you did. You choose to venture further outwards, taking one last trip back to Camp Jaha before you leave. You never enter the camp, you just watch. Your mother is there and it seems as if she is happy. Raven and Wick are often together and you hope that something happened there because after everything, Raven deserves to find happiness. Bellamy is there too, but he never seems to interact with anyone for very long. You don’t see Octavia or Lincoln.

  
Looking down on the camp, you know that you made the right choice to leave. You wouldn't have been able to be the person that they would have expected you to be when you were so fresh from the war. You wouldn’t have been able to have dealt with the judgemental looks, nor the forgiving glances. You wouldn't have been able to be the leader that they deserved. They seem to be doing alright without you, and although you know that one day you will return to them and they will probably take you back with open arms, you had one more thing to deal with.

  
And this one was a lot more personal.

  
Xx  
With your goal in mind, it doesn’t take long until you manage to find a Grounder whilst he was sleeping. You asked him to take a message. Three words, that’s all it was, but it did the trick.

  
You are heading South West when you look up and see her silhouette stood proud and tall against the setting sun. Your heart thuds heavily in your chest as she looks at you from the top of the hill. She doesn’t move and neither do you.

  
Eventually, you sink to your knees as tears take your body for the first time since your first night away from the Sky People, and she moves towards you. Her strides are long and each footfall has a purpose. Just before she reaches you, she gestures her hand to the surrounding woods, and you assume that it was towards her guard. Her hand then extends and you take it, letting her pull you up to your feet.

  
“Clarke.” She says, her voice as soft as you remember it. You finally look up into her eyes, surrounded in the war paint that you have been dreaming about more and more lately. They sparkle as they look at you and your heartbeat pounds.

  
“Lexa.” You try to regain your composure, but it isn’t working. You look down, unable to meet her gaze in such a state. She reaches out and cups your cheek in her hand, making you to look at her.

  
“Come with me.” She tells you, wrapping her arm around you so that her hand rests on your lower back, guiding you as you both walked. You wanted to lean into her so badly, but you honestly had no idea where you stood with her. She leads you back towards what you assume is Polis.

  
It is bigger than the Grounder camp from the war, but you expected that. There were people bustling about and Lexa led you down what looked like a market street. There were all kinds of goods on offer and you are quite pleasantly surprised at the people here. As you go deeper into the city, you notice a change. One side seems to be more like Tondc, a settlement of villagers going about their daily lives but on a grander scale, while the other side was just like the Grounder army camp that you had become accustomed to.  
When you get to her tent in the centre of the city, she takes off her armour and undoes her jacket and you can’t help but stare at her because she is just as beautiful as you remember. Maybe you didn’t have a chance to really appreciate it the last time you were with her, but somehow she had engrained herself into your memory.

  
“I have heard stories about you, Clarke,” She starts and you watch her. She isn’t looking at you. “Is it true what you did at Mount Weather?” You nod because you don’t trust your voice. “I know that must have been difficult for you. I am sorry that I put you in the position where you had to do that.” She tells you and you don’t want her pity. “It took a lot of strength.” Her pity is brief and replaced by respect.

  
“We do what we must to save our people, and then we bear the burden, so that they don’t have to.” She looks at you finally and you see all of the emotion behind her eyes. Regret, sorrow, fear and what you hope is love. “You got my message, I assume?” Lexa nods and you see the edges of her lips twitch into a smile. “I want to thank you for having a team of your people follow me while I was alone in the woods.”

  
“Our alliance may be broken, but there is so much that we do not know about this world, what new dangers may surface now that the Mountain Men are gone. The woods are never going to be a safe place to be alone.” She takes her jacket off and moves towards you. You let your eyes linger on her toned body hidden by her tank top. “I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you.” She places her hand on yours where it is resting on the table. Her voice is soft and you feel your heart stutter. Her eyes show her vulnerability and you crack, kind of hating yourself for letting her back in so quickly. But this is Lexa. She never says or does anything that she doesn’t mean.

  
You fall against her and she catches you in her strong arms as you let your head fall into her shoulder. Your tears fall again and you hate yourself for being so weak in front of her, but part of you knew it would be like this as she whispers ‘I understand’ into your hair. You knew that she would be the only person to know what you have been through; she would know the emotional toll it took on you and part of you wonders why you didn’t come to her much sooner. You need her a heck of a lot more than you thought you did.  
You don’t know how long you two stand like that, but she makes no attempts to move away. Eventually, you pull back a little, arms still resting against her chest and your body still pressed into her. She looks into your eyes and you know now more than ever that you had made the right choice in just about every aspect of your time on Earth.

  
Lexa tilts her head down a little so that your lips are a breath apart, waiting for you to make the first move this time. Her breath is warm and coming out in short, shallow pants and you feel that reflected in her chest.

  
You close the distance and she immediately sucks your bottom lip into her mouth. Her tongue runs over it and you part your lips to grant her more access. The kiss is passionate, yet tentative at first as she starts to back you up a little, until you are sat on the table. It wasn’t until your butt meets the firm surface that you realised Lexa had been holding you up completely.

  
Her hand cups the back of your neck and tangles in the hair there. When you are sure that she isn’t going to move away from you, you slip your hands to the inside of Lexa’s jacket and rest your hands on her shoulders. You feel the soft skin there is marred with scars and your heart swells when you think about everything that she has been through. All the battles that she has fought, all of the wounds she has suffered through.

  
Lexa pulls away and leans her forehead against yours. Her eyes are closed and her lips are pulled in between her teeth. You let your hands fall to the where the swell of her breasts would be if it weren’t for the binding she wore. She is savouring the moment, while you daren’t close your eyes in case she runs.

  
“Lexa,” You say her name to draw her out, “Look at me.”

  
“I can’t.” She whispers. A beat passes between you before she continues. “I don’t want this all to be a dream.”

  
“I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to.” You tell her just as quietly because right now, nothing else in the world exists. It is just you and her.

  
“You have always been my weakness, Clarke.” You smile at her words and kiss her briefly once more, pulling away from her. You remember the conversation you had over Finn’s burning body like it was yesterday.

  
“We have a lot to talk about.” Her eyes open and she nods.

  
“We do.” She steps back and smiles at you as she takes you in. “But how about for now, we clean up and rest. I imagine you are exhausted.” She walks to the side of the tent and pours water into a bowl, offering you a wash cloth. You watch her in silence as she takes off her war paint with practiced ease, but you notice a dull stain on her face where the paint would go. “How long have you been in the woods for? It must have been at least six moons.” She turns to you and gestures that she has finished.

  
“It was about eight I think.”

  
You start cleaning yourself. It had been a while since you had a chance to just stop and take care of your appearance and you are slightly embarrassed that you were in such a state. You are pleasantly surprised when you feel a cloth against your neck where Lexa is helping you. It is a tenderness that you knew she possessed, given the way she speaks to you, but you didn’t expect it now.

  
She pulls at your now worn leather jacket from behind and you drop your cloth to allow her to remove it. She cleans your arms with the same softness before offering you a clean bowl of water and some privacy.

  
“Lexa?” You call to her as you are pulling your clothes back on, happy to be clean again.

  
“Yes, Clarke?” she responds almost immediately and when you turn around, you see that she is led on a bed of furs, her hands on her stomach with her eyes closed. It is the most relaxed you have ever seen her.

  
“Was it easy for you to walk away?” you ask quietly because you’re not sure that you want to know the answer, but something nagging in the back of your mind makes you ask. “To pick your head over your heart?”

  
“As Commander,” She opens her eyes and looks directly at you, “it was easy.”

  
“But as Lexa?” She looks down and you stand there awkwardly playing with your hands.

  
“How can you ask that? I thought you knew.” She says just as quietly as your question. There is a moment before she says, “It tore me apart. I have never done anything more difficult.”

  
Your heart leaps into your throat and you want to cry for her and the pain that you know she went through because it was the same pain that you felt as you watched her walk away from the mountain, from you.

  
You don’t say anything as you join her on the furs. She lifts her arm when you put your head on her shoulder and drape your arm across her stomach. She connects your fingers, bringing them up to her mouth and she places a firm kiss to them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where sex happens... and lots of fluffy fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So last time I forgot to thank my two amazing betas for their hard work on getting this fic to where it is now. Kimmy and Steph, you guys are pretty darn awesome.  
> Also, any errors are mine, not theirs.  
> This is probably the longest installment for this fic, and probably the longest chapter Ive ever done

When you wake up the next morning, you are alone. You chastise yourself for expecting Lexa to be there. What did you think would happen? Cuddling? You sit up and run your fingers through your hair.

“Clarke!” someone shouts, and you know it’s not Lexa. There is familiarity in the woman’s voice, but you can’t place it. That is until the owner of said voice comes through the opening of the tent.

“Octavia? What the heck?” You smile at her and let her pull you off of the floor and into a hug. She had gotten so much stronger and while you two weren’t exactly friends before you left, you were glad to see a familiar face.

“Lincoln and I, we left Jaha not long after you did. A lot of people wouldn’t take Lincoln in and they thought that I would betray them because of my warrior training. So we left and the Commander took us in.” She explained in a rush. “Where did you go?”

“I don’t know. I needed to be alone.” She looks at you and you see the pity in her eyes that you had spent eight months trying to avoid. You don’t feel as if you deserve pity. You shrug it off.

She tells you about how your mother had sent out search parties for you, and how she had worried. She tells you how she tried to make the Sky People accept her and Lincoln but how it was inevitably futile. You learn that Indra had challenged Lexa because Indra thought that the Commander had become weak and wasn’t making the right decisions.

“We barely see her in the camp. When we had the alliance, she would be out walking through the Grounders and that wasn’t unusual apparently. But ever since the Mountain, she has hardly been seen. Indra had had enough. And then when she allowed Lincoln to re-join them after everything that he had done to betray them, it was the final straw.” Octavia explained.

“How long ago was that?” You ask, worried that you might cause some more drama for the Commander.

“About a month. Three weeks at most. When Lincoln and I came here, things started to boil over, but it all came to a head then.” She looks as if she is going to say more, but the tent opening interrupts her.

Lexa gives Octavia an instruction in their language and she nods. She smiles at you before she leaves you both alone. After being Indra’s second, you assume that she would have taken Indra’s command now since a challenge to the Commander’s power would not have been taken very lightly.

“You slept okay, I hope.” She asks and you nod. “You were tossing and turning a lot.” You can see that she is trying to school her features into that of nonchalance, but you see her worry seeping through.

“Nightmares.” You pour yourself a drink and take a sip from it. When you look up again, she is beside you.

“They will pass, I promise.” She tries to assure you, offering you a small smile that doesn’t quite make it to her eyes.

“You knew that I was out there. Why didn’t you come sooner?” You ask and she is taken a little aback by how quickly you have gotten into this conversation.

“I didn’t know that you would have wanted me to. I sent my men though, but you know that.” She leans back against the planning table and her smile is undeniable now. You think she looks beautiful. “I got your message, but you know that as well.”

“I assumed that that was why you came and found me.” You stand in front of her and reach up to cradle her cheek in your hand. She leans into the touch as you run your thumb over her cheek and her lips. On the third pass you make of her lips, she kisses your thumb. You look into her eyes, searching for something, but you don’t know what. You step closer to her and lean into her. “I’m ready now.” You whisper against her lips and her smile grows a little more.

“It sounds so much sweeter coming directly from you.” She mumbles, her lips brushing against yours.

When you connect your lips for a third time and neither of you hold back. She kisses you hard and you try to keep up with her as she sucks your lip into her mouth. She nips on it and soothes it with her tongue. You run your tongue along her lip and she allows you access into her mouth. You explore the new territory briefly, before she sucks on your tongue and you cannot help the moan that leaves your throat. She smiles against you, pulling back briefly to suck in some air, before she delves back into your mouth.

She is hungry for you and it sends hot shivers down your spine. Her hands grip your hips and pull you flush against her while your hands support you either side of her on the table behind. She pulls another moan from your throat as her hands find your ass. She squeezes and uses it to pull you even closer into her.

Lexa’s lips leave yours in favour of kissing your neck, and you let her, tilting your head to the side so that she can suck on your racing pulse point. She is going to mark you and you think that that is what she is aiming for. You try to stifle a groan and she smirks against you when your hand wraps into her hair.

“Don’t quiet yourself, Clarke, I want to hear you.” She mutters, playing with the skin at the bottom of your shirt where it has ridden up. Her voice is low and gruff; dripping what you hope is lust.

“But I don’t want everyone else to hear me.” You strain out, lifting your hands so she can pull your shirt off.

“Pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of. My people know this. No one is quiet here.” Her words send liquid heat to your core as you think about Lexa underneath you, writhing and screaming your name.

Her mouth is back on you and she’s guiding you back to the furs. She strips herself of her coat, her shirt and her binding. She does this all with practiced ease where you know you would be flailing with the wrap. You have to take a moment to admire the woman standing in front of you with no less confidence than when she was fully clothed. You admire her for that. Her body is covered in scars, just as you thought it would be. You will ask her about every single one of them. There is a fairly new looking scar across her stomach that must have been from a deep cut and your heart aches to think that she got it defending her leadership to Indra. She has a tattoo on her right bicep that must be some sort of tribal ink and you can see a couple wrapping around her shoulders, ribs and onto her stomach. You want to see her back because you know that there is going to be some kind of meaningful artwork of her people there.

You reach out to her and pull her on top of you. Her lips reconnect with your neck as she kisses over your chest, leaving as many marks on you as possible before grunting at the material of your bra.

“Here,” You sit up slightly when she tugs on it and you assume she hasn’t come into contact with any or many of them in her lifetime. Why would she have?

You take off your bra for her and you see her release a smile when your breasts come into view. She leans forwards and wastes no time taking your nipple into her mouth, taunting it into a hardened nub whilst pinching the other and rolling it between her fingers. You can’t help but arch up into her. She switches nipples and this time you moan her name.

She doesn’t linger, she kisses your stomach and down to the line of your pants. She stops briefly to dip her tongue into your belly button, which kind of tickles, before she tugs sharply at your pants to pull them down and she takes your panties with them. You see her inhale deeply and you want to close your legs because you're slightly embarrassed by just how wet you are, but when she opens her eyes and looks at you with a primal need and want, you know that you won’t.

You don’t want to anymore.

When Commander Lexa, leader of the Tree People, looks at you like that, you know that there is no denying her. And it just makes you wetter.

She looks at your dripping core and growls again as she moves closer. She takes a broad lick all the way up your slit and you whimper when her tongue connects with your clit.

“Don’t tease me.” You grind out through your teeth when she sucks on the nub and traces a finger around your lips. She hums against you and smirks when she slides two fingers into you.

Your hips buck and roll against her fingers as she holds them still. You slam your eyes shut and cry out when she pulls her fingers out of you, only to slam them back into you. When you open your eyes she is there, looking down at you and studying every inch of your face. Her fingers move at a rapid pace as soon as your eyes lock with hers. Your eyebrows furrow and your mouth parts. You hook your leg over her hip and grind against her.

“Let it out, Clarke.” She whispers into your ear and sucks on the lobe. “Let me know how I am making you feel.” She presses her thumb to your clit and you clutch at the furs as you let out a loud moan, ripped straight from the bottom of your stomach.

“Fuck, don’t you dare stop!” You feel her grin against your neck and you feel the tickle of her laugh. She bites your neck and you feel the coils beginning in your stomach.

She keeps pushing you, and pushing you, until you have no choice but to tumble into your orgasm. Your muscles tighten and you feel yourself spasm around her fingers as your body bends into her. She removes her fingers slowly and licks them clean before kissing you. You moan into her mouth when you taste what you assume is yourself on her tongue.

“Oh my god.” You gasp when she pulls away. She places a soft kiss on your forehead and it makes you open your eyes and look at her. She smiles softly down at you, her body propped up on her elbow, as her fingers draw patterns on your stomach. Your legs are still entwined with hers. You take one last deep breath before you roll towards her and try to convince her to lie on her back. She doesn’t take the bait however. You frown.

“What’s wrong?” she asks as soon as she notices your furrowed eyebrows.

“Lay back, it’s your turn.” She laughs and gets up to pour two cups of water.

“I am the Commander, Clarke.” Lexa states almost sadly with her back still turned to you and you wish you could see her eyes. You finally have your chance to see the tattoos adorning her back and it’s beautiful. Strings of black ink intricately woven around each other, curling and dancing in complicated patterns from the base of her neck, to the bottom of her spine. The tattoo bends around her ribs, as you thought it would and if you were to just glance at it, you would think that Lexa had a pair of wings painted into her skin.

“I know who you are, _Heda_ ,”

“Well clearly you don’t if you think that it is easy for me to forget customs and be free with my body like I were a Sky Person.” She spits out and her words sting more than you think she means them to. She turns to hand you the water and sees her hurt in your eyes. “Clarke,” she sighs, “I didn’t mean it the way you are thinking.”

“Really? Because it definitely sounded like you did.” You get up and grab your clothes, willing the tears to stay out of your eyes. “This wasn’t just some fling for me, Lexa, I thought you knew that.” You shake out your pants and hold them out to put them on when a hand on your arm stills you.

“Stop. Please, let me explain.” Her eyes are pleading with you and you cannot help but turn towards her. You are aware that you are naked and that she is topless, but it doesn’t seem to faze her in the slightest. You look at her expectantly and she continues. “I am the Commander. When I take people to bed, I never bare myself to them. I never let them touch me intimately because I cannot risk anyone knowing my weaknesses.”

“So you’ve never been touched?” You ask, finding it hard to believe that Lexa wouldn’t even allow herself one of her most primal needs.

“I have touched many, but only once have I been touched.” She admits.

“I thought you said that pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of.” You ask.

“It is when you are me.”

"I don't understand." She sighs.

 "I am expected to be poised and collected at all times. That cannot happen if I let my guard down. Even if it’s brief." She tries to explain and to some extent, you get it. “I feel as if I am not explaining myself properly.”

“I want to touch you Lexa, I want to make you feel good, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” She averts her eyes from yours but you can still tell that she wants that too, but she does feel a little uncomfortable. She didn’t need to say it for you to know that the only person who had ever made the Commander come apart was Costia.

You wonder briefly how long it took for Costia to find Lexa’s weaknesses before an idea strikes you.

“I have an idea.” She flexes her jaw a few times before nodding ever so slightly to tell you to continue. You slowly push her backwards until she is against the table in the centre of the room once more and you sink to your knees. You see her swallow as she watches you.

You kiss her stomach and trace your tongue to her hip and kiss the skin there. The bone protrudes slightly and you nip at it before kissing along to the other. You notice the way the muscles quiver and jump when your lips make contact and you want nothing more than to look up and see the look on her face right now, but you keep on going with your goal in mind, worried that she might stop you at any moment.

Your fingers hook into the waistband of her pants when you feel her breathing hitch when you bite her hip. That’s already one weakness you’ve found. You glance up at her briefly as you start to pull them down slowly. She shows no signs that she wants you to stop, and also no signs that she wants you to keep going either, so you carry on.

You pull her pants off and are met straight away with the heady scent of her arousal. You try your best not to grin because you did this to her. Her hands thread into your hair as you lean into her slightly. It takes her a second to spread her legs to accommodate you, and when she does, you place soft open mouthed kisses to the inside of her thighs.

"If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say." You tell her because she looks like she needs the reassurance right now that she is the one in charge. So tell her, "You’re in control here."

She nods at you and strokes her hand through your hair before you lean forwards and trail a long, slow lick through her centre. She gasps and her free hand clutches the table behind her. Your hands grasp her thighs as you lick through her again, this time taking her clit between your lips and sucking on it. Your tongue sets about drawing patterns on it, and the way she breathes your name is enough for you to know that this is truly what she wants. You would smile if you weren't so focused on making the woman above you feel good.

Her hand tightens its grasp when you press closer to her and take as much of her into your mouth as you can. Your fingers trace her lips and tease her entrance until she growls your name as if she's warning you. You feel her get even wetter when you press a single digit into her fluttering core. Her hips grind down and you know that one finger will never be enough to please her fully.

You take a second to admire the position that you are in, that she has _let_ you be in. You have the Commander of the Grounders, leader of a thousands strong army, on your fingers rocking her hips just so that _you_ can give her a tiny bit more pleasure. You know that she is aching, wanting more, but you know that she will never ask you for it.

Her moans grow louder when you pull back. You want to see the look on her face when you push the second finger into her. Her head falls back and she lets out a deep groan. The way she clenches around you tells you that you need to move along in your motions because she is wound entirely too tightly.

You draw your fingers out of her and she glares down at you. You smirk a little and blow on her clit before attaching your mouth to it again. Your tongue starts moving against it at the same time you push your fingers back into her. You keep up a punishing pace on her and she pants frantically in between moans.

It isn't long before she tightens impossibly around you and shudders, releasing her orgasm with a sharp tug to your hair. You groan at the pain and ease her through the muscle spasms. Finally, you pull away with one last lick through her.

''Oh my,'' she sighs and you're not sure if she notices that you're supporting most of her body weight. ''That certainly didn't happen the last time.'' You help her over to the furs and lay beside her.

''I find it hard to believe that Costia didn't make you come.'' You laugh a little bit but she looks at you with a look of complete seriousness.

''Costia was not the person I was intimate with.'' She tells you and must pick up on your confusion. ''Before I became Commander, it was said that I had to be experienced in all ways of the world. It has been that way for as long as I know of and would be the same even if I were a man.'' Her hand starts absently playing with your hair. ''I was allowed to choose with whom it was with, but the night before I took charge, I was made a woman.''

Your face must show the pity you feel for her in that moment because she leans over and kisses you, whispers for you to not feel for things that cannot be changed, before turning onto her stomach. She sighs happily, still affected by the aftermath of her first ever orgasm.

''Why weren't you and Costia intimate?''

''I was intimate with her, but she was not intimate with me. I didn't allow it.'' She rests her head on her hands and closes her eyes. ''But I must admit that now I regret not letting her.''

''The last thing I wanted was to give you regrets, Lexa.'' You frown and pull furs over both of you up to your waists because you're still trying to memorise the tattoos and scars that adorn her back. She had a pretty fresh scar diagonally across her back and you assume that it was also from her fight with Indra.

''And you haven't.'' She opens her eyes to look at you. ''It was merely a sweeping statement.''

You lean over her and place a kiss to her shoulder blades. "Will you tell me about these?''

"You ask so many questions." You hear the smile in her words is thickened by impending sleep. "When I wake, if you are still interested, I shall tell you."

She falls asleep and you cannot help but reflect on how far the pair of you have come in the small time that you have been back in each other’s lives. Even if all of Lexa's progress has been made for your eyes only, it just makes you happier. You don't know what tomorrow will bring, and right now, as you curl up next to the commander and allow sleep to fall over you, you don't care.

 

Xxx

 

Later that night, you are woken by someone at the door shouting through to Lexa. She pulls her clothes on quickly, whispering for you to stay where you are before closing a curtain partition and attending to business. You hear her on the other side, her voice harsh and controlled as she demands respect from whoever is in the tent. Their meeting doesn't last long, but you had forgotten just what it was like to be around when Lexa had to be the Commander.

While she hasn't relaxed completely around you, she was softer. She was more willing to bend and accommodate the traditions that you were brought up with, whilst trying to meld them with her own. You think that that could be a large part of the reason as to why she allowed you to claim her body a few hours prior.

It is not long before she reappears in front of you, by which time you have gotten dressed. She lies next to you and you cannot help but notice hardness in her eyes.

''What is it?'' You ask, running your finger along her jawline.

''The Sky People and Tree People no longer share an alliance. It makes your being here difficult. That was the general who took Indra's place when she died and he said that a lot of the people have been talking. They are unsure and restless.'' She explains.

"Oh. Well I can go, its fine.'' You sit up and run your fingers through your hair before reaching for your jacket, the sinking feeling of betrayal falling heavily into your chest once more. She got what she wanted from you and now her people are what matter. Not you, never you.

''Clarke,'' she starts.

''It’s okay, I get that your people come first and that you are the Commander before anything else.'' You spit out, swallowing past the lump in your throat.

''Clarke, wait. I want to find a way around this.'' There is a moment of silence before she speaks up again, ''I'm not going to lose you when I have only just found you again.'' She admits.

''Then let's find a way around it. I don't even know if I am a Sky Person anymore.'' You turn to look at her and she looks confused, your heart pounding in your chest. You are beginning to hate how since it has caused you nothing but pain in the past.

''Your people love you, Clarke, I'm sure they understand why you felt like you had to leave. And even if they don't completely comprehend the effect that your actions had on you, they will try.'' You sit and think about what she said for a few moments before she adds, "I'm sure your mum misses you."

  
You can't help but laugh at this because you know that your mum is the last thing that either of you care about right now. You turn to look at her and find her smiling.

  
"You do what you need to do with your people; I'll go and catch up with Octavia and Lincoln for a while. Come and find me when you're done." You tell her before leaving her tent. You know that you aren't welcome in her leadership meetings anymore.  
  
It doesn't take you long to find Octavia sat by a fire eating. You ask her where Lincoln is as you take a seat next to her and she informs you that he is on patrol tonight. She laughs and tells you that its 'just us girls' as she nudges your shoulder and offers you some of her food. You take it happily.  
  
"I bet you have a lot of questions right about now." She smiles and you nod. "Well I will answer them as well as I can, but not here." She stands and takes your hand to lead you towards her tent. When the makeshift door flops shut, she levels you with a wicked grin. "However, before you get any information out of me, you have to tell me what happened earlier today with the Commander."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." You blush and try to deny, but you've never been a good liar.

"Whatever, Clarke, just call it payback for leaving me to die in Tondc." She laughs so you know that she is joking but you still feel your stomach drop a little. "I think the whole city heard the two of you."

"Was it really that loud?" You hide your face in your hands because really, that's just embarrassing.

"It really was. And if they didn't hear it, then those marks on your neck certainly give you away."

It takes you a couple of minutes to get over your embarrassment, but you open up to her because it’s nice to have someone to talk to. You know that Octavia is fiercely loyal to the Grounders and their Commander, so giving her this information isn't going to harm anyone. Plus you think she's pretty scared of Lexa, so she wouldn't dare do anything with it.

You talk about how you don't know where your place is anymore and that you fear that the Sky People won't take you back in, and even if they do, you're not sure that they would want to align themselves to the Tree People again. You tell her that if they didn't, you wouldn't be able to see her or Lexa again. She tells you that she is sure Lexa would allow you to join the Tree People if that were the case, but there is too much uncertainty hanging around at the moment that you can't really bring yourself to think about it.

It is late when Lexa finds you. The look on her face is unreadable at first, but when you smile at her from the furs on the floor of Octavia’s tent, you briefly see her eyes brighten. She informs you that the meeting is over and that you can return to her tent whenever you see fit. She leaves and you hug Octavia goodbye before following the Commander.

"Heda," you call after her. She stops and waits for you to catch up with her.

"Have you thought about what you are going to do?" You walk alongside her.

"I spoke to Octavia and she kind of made it make sense. I will return to the Sky People and, if it is something that you are willing to do, ask them if they are prepared to form an alliance again." You tell her.

"It is something that I am willing to consider." She stops at the entrance to her tent and looks at you. You see that she is preparing herself to say something, schooling her features into a mask of complete indifference. "But if they won't?"

"Then I won't be staying with them." You see her eyes widen briefly before you walk past her and into her tent because you are confident that she would not be happy with this conversation happening in plain view of her people.

"I would happily accept you into the Triekru, Clarke, but that would mean that you would not be able to see your mother, nor your friends again." She tells you as she takes off her coat and hangs it off of her throne.

"I know what sacrifices I would have to make, and I am prepared to make them." The ' _for you_ ' goes unspoken but you know she heard it when she looks at you like you are the sun.

She is silent for a while and you see emotions battling in her eyes as her throat bobs up and down with all the things that she wants to say and feel, but won't allow herself to.

Not yet.

You take a few steps until you are in front of her and help her peel off her thick armoured shirt.

"Love doesn't have to be weakness, Lexa." You say quietly, removing her sword from around her waist and the three daggers concealed in the waistband of her pants. "Love can make you strong. It can challenge you and make you a better person, a stronger leader." You finally look into her eyes and see them about to overflow with emotion as she studies every inch of your face.

"I hope you're right, Clarke," she whispers your name as if it were a sacred secret. "Because I don't think I can fight my feelings anymore."

Your heart breaks as she stands in front of you, not as the Commander, but at a young woman with a lot of scars. You lean forwards and place a soft but reassuring kiss into her lips. Her hands meet your hips and pull you in closer to her to deepen the kiss.

"Let me be strong for you." You tell her and she nods, falling against you as if the entirety of everything she has ever stopped herself from feeling comes crashing down on her all at once.

You make love to her all night. She is slightly reluctant at first to allow you to play her body again, but by the third time, she eagerly opens her legs and calls out your name. The fourth time, she tells you that she wants to try something that she had watched two of her lovers do together in the past and you are more than happy to be the subject of Lexa's experimentation. Especially when her knees are either side of your head, her own fingers inside of you as she grips onto your thigh as if it's a lifeline whilst you both fall apart.

Eventually you both fall side by side, panting and gasping for air as your sweaty bodies try desperately to cool down. You rest your head on her shoulder and even though you know that neither of you can handle being pressed together right now because of the heat, she still pulls you into her side as if she cannot deal with being apart from you at all. You trace your finger over her stomach and around every scar that you find.

You ask her about the older ones first. She explains how some are from sparring with old teachers when she was less experienced and others were from various battles she had been in. You run your finger over the longest and newest scar, leaning down to kiss it before asking her about it.

"A short while back, Indra challenged my leadership. She thought I was becoming weak and no longer had our people's best interests at heart." She started and you turned to situate yourself between her legs, looking up at her from her stomach. From the pain in her eyes, you think that maybe Indra was the closest thing that Lexa had to a friend, especially after the loss of Anya. "It wasn't a power move, she was genuinely concerned for our people, and I don't blame her."

"Why not?" You prompt.

"I became weak. I sent five of our best men out to watch you at all times. I became distracted and I wasn't there for my people the way that I should have been. I was absent and I have never ruled my people like that, so it did not go unnoticed." Lexa took a deep breath before continuing, still talking to the ceiling but playing absentmindedly with a tendril of your hair. "To our people, if someone challenges the Commander, it is punishable by death, that is if the challenger is defeated by the Commander. Indra was right to challenge me, but I have no doubt that she knew that I would win. She sacrificed herself for my weakness, in order to harden my heart once more."

Without knowing what to say, you kiss her scar and move up her body to connect your lips.

"I'm sorry." Is all you manage.

"Don't be, it is not your fault. It was a difficult fight, but I eventually won."

"It’s okay to feel bad about it." You tell her and settle into her side again.

"Not this time, Clarke. This is one where you _have_ to put the need of your people above your own. I respected Indra a great deal. She had great insight and skills in battle which will no doubt be sorely missed come the next battle. I had to have the strength to take her life, just like with Gustus in Tondc. If I didn't have the ability to ignore my feelings, my people and their traditions would suffer." She explains and you start to understand her that little bit more.

  
"I'm not saying that you should let your feelings over run you, Lexa, I just want for you not to be numb to them all the time. You should give yourself time to grieve for those who fall, rather than just going through the ceremonial motions of it." You explain but she doesn't say anything. She just tightens her grip on you and kisses your forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a slight bit of insight into Lexa's past and what happened with Indra (I'm sorry, I dont like her and thats why it had to happen).  
> I hope you all enjoyed.   
> Find me on Tumblr at 01shane01


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke keeps learning about the Grounders and sees where she stands with the Sky People

Two days and a fresh change of clothes later, you leave Lexa with the promise to return to her in a few days time. She had put the idea of another alliance forward to the generals of her army, who all thought that it was a good idea. Lexa had been very happy about this, because it would mean that you wouldn't have to choose between her and the people who shared your blood. She had initially been wary of what her people would think, but everyone saw the merits of reforming the partnership between themselves and the Sky People. It would mean advances in medicine, tools, and crafts. They were not interested in the weaponry, but you understood that.

As you rode up to the gates of Camp Jaha on the horse that Lexa had lent you, you could hear people calling out your arrival. A crowd gathered as the gates opened. You got off of your horse and handed the reins to a guardsman, asking him to give it water and something to eat and that you would be there later to tend to it. Lexa had briefed you on how to properly look after it, since the Sky People seemed a bit scared of them the last time they had been in contact with the animals, and therefore didn't learn.

Bellamy is the first to meet you, pulling you into a hug. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. Raven was next, and as she approached, you were glad to see that her leg appeared to have improved slightly. Everyone knew that it would never be as it was before however. 

They asked you where you had been and if you had seen Octavia at all. You tell them briefly that you had spent most of your time wandering the woods, but the last few days in the Grounders’ city. They look concerned at first, but you wave them off. You don't want to tell them the full details of your stay unless you have to. Not yet. You tell them about Octavia and how she and Lincoln are doing well and they tell you how they were outraged when they were almost forced to leave. You ask about Monty and Jasper and they tell you that they are out at Mount Weather scavenging for things that could be useful, especially the technology.

"But what's going on with the semi-Grounder threads?" Raven asks, tugging on the fur coat Lexa had had made for you. It was like the one she wore, only shorter and made with a slightly darker pelt.

"Well after eight months in the woods, I needed some new clothes. I couldn't go to the mountain." 

You chance a look around properly for the first time and everyone had kind of lost interest in you by now, save for the kids who were trapped in the mountain. You don't feel the bitter sting at the back of your throat, nor the heavy ache in your chest that you had been expecting. You are able to smile at them and you are a little surprised by it. 

"I would have thought my mom would be out here by now." You laugh.

"They're having a council meeting, I doubt anyone will have disturbed them." Bellamy shrugged with a hint of bitterness to his tone. You make a mental note to ask him about it later and tell him that you might as well do the honours.

You walk through the door to the council chamber and everyone looks at you. Your mom and Kane look like they have seen a ghost and neither can rush to you fast enough. They barrelled questions at you and you tried to shrug them off.

"Look, I have something to discuss with you."

"Are you pregnant?" Your mum asks and you can't help but laugh. She goes to dismiss the council, but you ask them all to stay since this is a council matter.

"I've come from the Grounders' camp. They wish to form an alliance again, seeing as it would benefit both sides. I have gifts from the Commander as a gesture of goodwill towards the Sky People." You start.

You tell them that even though the Commander had betrayed them before, that this would be an alliance at a time of peace, rather than of war. You try to explain the Commander's actions to the council, but you know that they don't understand the full extent of the decision. The war would have been won easily if Lexa had stayed, but both her people and the Sky People would have suffered losses. She had to think of the bigger picture and in the end, she did what you would have done.

When they are still sceptical, you tell them the final fact.

"If an alliance isn't made, I will not be returning." You say evenly and your mother looks at you as if you had told them that you were going to go and battle the Mountain Men on your own.

"But this is your home, Clarke, why would you say something so ridiculous?" Your mum says, clutching your hand as if she could force you.

"This is not my home. My home is lost, the home that you all decided to lock me up in. The one that this council decided to tear me away from to send me to the ground." You put your hand up to silence their arguments, that they did what they did for the greater good of the Ark. "You expect my forgiveness, when you won't forgive the Commander for her choices based off of the same merits?" Your words silence them as they make the connections that you hoped that they would. "Choices that I made have been forgiven, which on the Ark, I would have been floated for. What I did, was mass genocide, even if it were for the good of my people." Your voice remains calm as you make eye contact with everyone in the room.

"How much time has the Commander given us to think about this?" Marcus speaks up because your mother looks like she has been punched in the stomach.

"I leave at sunrise, two days from now. She expects me to have an answer."

"And the consequence if we refuse to align?" He asks.

"There are none. I leave and don't look back, they will get most of the benefits of the alliance from my knowledge of advancement, and you get nothing." You say simply with a shrug of your shoulders. In the silence that follows, you wonder if Lexa would be proud of you right now, if pride is even an emotion she knows.

"And you join the Grounders?" Your mother asks and you nod. "But your place is here, Clarke."

"There is nothing keeping me here." She knows exactly what you mean but says nothing. "It is out of respect and loyalty that I have come to attempt peace." You state, your tone strong and sure in order to dispel any further questioning. "Will you allow me to sleep here for the duration, or shall I erect my tent outside of the camp boundaries?"

"You can stay here, Clarke. You're always welcome." Marcus tells you.

You nod in acknowledgement and leave the council room. Bellamy and Raven are waiting for you outside and they both offer to let you sleep in their tents. You accept Bellamy's offer because Raven and Wick are together and it would have been weird.

You thank them and leave to see to your horse. Lexa had told you how fond she was of the animals when she showed you how to rub them down. It made you smile when she told you how she would often wander around the city in such a manner that she would pass the stables so that she could stop and make sure that they were alright. She introduced you to her horse and her eyes softened in the way that they do when she looks at you. She pressed her forehead into the giant black horse with a thick white stripe down its nose, and the horse blew air out of its nose in return. She seemed calm and happy.

When she seemed to remember that you were stood there, she had blushed a little and smiled shyly at you.

"Who would have guessed that Heda Leksa would be so cute?" You had cooed.

"Shof op." She had grumbled and dragged you across to the horse you would take.

"What's got you smiling like a fool, Princess?" Bellamy interrupted as you swept the dust off of your horse. This one was shorter than Lexa's and a sandy brown colour. Instead of a stripe down its nose, the horse had a small star shaped spot in the center of its forehead.

"Nothing." You smile at him, never faltering in your treatment of the horse.

"Sure," he nudges your shoulder and pets the animal, making its skin twitch. "Does it have a name?"

"No. The Grounders don't name their horses in case they have to set them free." You tell him and think that it is a good strategy.

He stands and talks to you while you finish your task, and then shows you to where his tent is now. 

The days drag by, but you know that that is because you weren't ready to leave Lexa and every fiber of your being cannot wait to get back to her. Although you are glad that you received such a warm welcome when you came back to camp, it really doesn't feel like you belong here anymore. These people are soft, something you hadn't realised before. You now understand the hesitance the Grounders had when they allied with them the first time.

By dawn of the third day, the council have an answer for you and you head back to Polis.

Xx

When you arrive, you deal with your horse and walk into the city. You take a little while to stroll through the main street, the divide between the people and the army that is sworn to protect them. You guess that the army you saw ready to take on the mountain was only half of what these people had. You wonder why they hadn't tried to take on the mountain before. You then think of the twelve clans and wonder if each of them had cities like this. 

You want to learn more about the earth and the way it is now. 

When you get to the Commander's tent, you are greeted by guards who stop you before you can enter. They tell you that there is a meeting going on and that the occupants should not be disturbed. You don't know if Lexa would want you to disturb her, so you wait.

You think about venturing into the other side of the city, which you are sure is the part that Lexa so confidently said would change your mind about her people. You decide against it, however, when you remember how Lincoln had said that it was only warriors that learnt English, and since your Trigedaslang was limited at best, you figure it would be best for you to just wait there.

Eventually, people start leaving the tent and you stand out of the way so that they can leave easily. Lexa appears at the door to her tent and watches the last person leave as a sign of respect. When she finally looks at you, her shoulders straighten and a smile tugs at the edges of her mouth.

"Clarke," she lets your name roll off of her tongue before she stands sideways, holding the flap to her tent open for you. "I hope you weren't waiting long."

As soon as you hear the flap stop swinging, you take her hand and drag her towards you. Her hands grip automatically onto your waist as yours rest on her shoulders.

"I am so glad to be back." you tell her and she smiles and you know that she missed you just as much as you missed her.

"It is a pleasure to have you back." she whispers against your lips in the brief moment before capturing them. You think that you could probably kiss Lexa forever. "What did your people have to say?" she asks after a short while and you don't miss the way that she refers to them.

"I guess they have a few concerns, but they are willing to negotiate some form of alliance." You smile at her because her face looks so young and so happy.

"That is good. How did the Sky People receive you?" she finally takes a step away from you and tidies away some of the maps from the meeting that she just had. 

"My mum and Kane were happy to see me, as were Bellamy and Raven. I didn't get to see many other people though. I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't there for pleasantries." she nods and you see the barest hint of a smile pull at her lips.

"Did you tell them why you would not return to them if they did not make an alliance?" she swallows visibly and you cannot get a read of her emotions in that second.

"Just that I felt like I didn't belong there anymore." You tell her and she nods again. You frown at her and ask her what's wrong.

"Nothing. Why would there be something wrong?" she stands from her task and in front of you has the stony facade of the Commander, not the Lexa you had become very fond of.

"Did you expect me to tell them about us?" her silence and reluctance to look into your eyes says enough. You step forwards into her personal space. "Lexa, we only found each other less than a week ago. I have no intentions of hurting you, but I was taking a lesson from you. I was talking from my head. I tried to keep you as far from my mind as possible, otherwise I would have been smiling like a dork the entire time and they would not have taken me seriously." she bites her lip and finally looks at you.

"I do not know what a dork is, but I am glad that you were able to do what you needed to do." she says evenly.

"I dont know why you are upset about this, Lexa. I, for one, kind of enjoy the idea of keeping this from them as long as possible." she thought for a moment, seeing the merits in what you said and smiles.

"I think, maybe, I thought you might be ashamed of us." she said quietly. "And I am glad that you have learned something about leadership from me."

"If I were ashamed of us, do you think that I would have screamed your name as loudly as I did the other night?" you lean close to her, peck her lips before moving to her ear, taking the soft lobe between your lips before saying, "Octavia said the entire city heard how good you made me feel." she shudders against you and her hands find their way back to your hips to tug you flush against her.

"Clarke," she sighs when your lips trail her jawline.

You move away from her in favour of getting a drink. She glares and you cannot help but smile because she doesn't fool you anymore. When it is just you and her, she is putty in your hands, and sure, it hasn't been that long, but time is not what matters. You and Lexa have a connection that you wonder how many others have ever had the pleasure of feeling. She knows how you feel before you even do, and you know just by a glance what she wants from you. When you first met the Commander, you thought that it was strange that you could communicate with her so easily without even having to speak, but then you were glad of it. The words spoken between the two of you when nothing is said, are more important than the ones said out loud.

"Now, I understand that we have to speak about politics today at some point, but first, why don't you take me to see some of the city?" You pass her the cup that you had drank out of and she takes a sip, choking on it when you whisper, "You know, before we have to get down and dirty" into her ear. You smirk back at her when you make your way back to the entrance of the tent and wait for her to pull herself together.

"You will be the death of me, Clarke." She comments before she takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders and closing her eyes as her features harden. 

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Heda." You laugh as she brushes past you and into the now bustling city.

Your hand itches to take hers as you walk deeper into the civilian side of the city. What stops you are the looks that her people give her as she walks through the dirt streets. The community buildings are made from wood here since they are more permanent than those in the war camps. Small wooden huts make up what you assume are small homes for the people and everyone rushes outside to get a glimpse at their Commander. Whispers follow you both through the streets but you don't understand. You hear 'Skaikru' and ‘Maunon’. You make a note to ask Lexa what they were talking about earlier.

You find it fascinating, the way that these people tend to their lives. Everyone is equal. There is no rich, and no poor. Goods are shared and it makes your heart warm to think that these people are so different than you first thought them to be. On the surface, they seem to have gotten things right that the Sky People have been struggling to do for as long as you know. You understand why Lexa loves it here and why their traditions are held in such high regard. They keep the peace.

Someone steps in front of you with a small basket in their hand. They utter something in their own tongue and you look at Lexa confused.

"It is a gift of thanks, Clarke." She smiles politely to the woman and says something. "Mochof means thank you."

"Oh, mochof." You smile and take the gift. The woman nods respectfully and leaves excitedly. "What just happened?" You ask when you are sure that you're out of earshot. One of Lexa's guards, who had been following a few paces behind, took the basket from your hands.

"She and a group of her villagers put together the basket when they caught wind that we were coming. It is a “thank you” for helping to get their family back." she tell you and you hum. "The civilian city is divided into sub-villages. They have groups of people who go out with a few warriors and hunt and provide for them. They trade between villages for goods."

"So you have no currency? No form of money to give things value?" You ask and notice that you are beginning to circle back towards the center of the city. 

"We do not need one. In the old world it might have been necessary, but we all work together. The only value that items are given is personal value." She walks closer to you now that you walk down the main street. You know that it is so you can hear her over the hustle and bustle, but you still feel goosebumps erupt when her arm brushes yours. "The guards will take whats in the basket and prepare it for lunch and then once we have eaten, it will be time to gather the generals to discuss the alliance." She informs you when you get to her tent.

She starts to take off her armour and you step up behind her. Your arms wrap around her waist and you place an open mouthed kiss to her neck. She sighs and relaxes back into you. You bury your nose into her back and you breathe in her smell before you rest your forehead against her.

"Is this a trait of the Sky People? The constant need to touch their partner?" You hum against her and help her out of her coat before resuming your position. 

"It's a comfort thing I think." You mumble and she turns in your arms, wrapping her own around you and resting her head atop of yours.

"I think that this is a Sky People trait that I could get used to." her lips press into your hair delicately. "However," her voice sounds slightly strained as her grip loosens on you, "my guards will not hesitate to enter with our lunch." You know what she means and pull away.

"They all know that we are together by now." you pout a little and maybe you're more tired than you thought you were because you didn't really sleep while you were with the Sky People. And Bellamy snores, which didn't help.

"They know that we have been to bed together." She tells you and hands you a drink of wine you think it is. "There is a difference."

You take her word for it because you don't want to either argue or get a life lesson right now. You settle for sitting with her at her table and holding her hand. You play with her fingers and she lets you, even as the guard brings in your food.

"Will you teach me Trigedaslang?" You ask her as she chews her food. She looks over to you with an eyebrow raised.

"You want to learn our language?" She tries to hide her smile.

"Well I think it will come in handy, don't you? The alliance is going to call for me to be here an awful lot. Plus, you know my natural tongue, so it’s only fair if I know yours as well." You explain, but this time it is your turn to choke when she tells you evenly that she would definitely like to get to know your tongue a lot better.

xx

The meeting with the generals was intense. They grilled you on the Sky People and what would come from the alliance. They wanted to know whether or not the Sky People would be prepared to go to war with them if they needed, as well as how fruitful the alliance would be. They wanted to know what kinds of resources they would share, and what they would be required to share in return. Lexa stood back and you answered all of their questions as well as you could. Any that you didn't have the answer to, you noted down and assured them that you would find out the next time you visited. 

When the meeting was starting to draw to an end, the smell of slowly roasting meat wafted through the air, it was difficult to ignore the rumbling in your stomach. That night, there was a feast where Lexa was to show the people that the Sky People and Tree People were in alliance once again. You were glad when the meeting finally ended and the generals left. Lexa got prepared, making sure her armour was properly in place and mixed her war paint. You watched intently as she mixed the paint with such care. Charcoal with the slightest bit of water. You wonder how long she has been putting it on for. She pulls her knife out of her belt, shines the surface on her pants and catches your eyes. Her face softens immediately as she holds the bowl out to you.

"Would you mind?" her voice is quiet and tentative as she steps towards you. You take the bowl and dip your fingers into the thick substance. Its surprisingly smooth.

"I don’t want to get it wrong." You admit, trying to figure out how much you need on your fingers.

"It’s okay. However you paint my face, I shall wear it with pride." she says and you are taken back to the day when she kissed you all that time ago. 

As you smear the first of the paint across her cheeks, you can't help but feel like this is a special moment for Lexa. Her mouth is parted slightly and her eyes flutter shut.

"Does this have significance in your culture?" you ask as your fingers run along the line of her nose. Lexa nodded a little when you dip your fingers back into the paint. "Don’t you think you should tell me what it means?" you laugh and continue doing her paint. She smiles.

"You do not know what it means, and yet you are still continuing." she observes. "What if it were a marriage proposal?"

"I could think of worse people to be married to." you tell her with certainty, finishing up one side of her face and ignoring the racing of your heart. "Is it?"

"No, it is not." she starts. "It is more like agreeing to a commitment. Not as serious as marriage."

"Lexa, did you just ask me to be your girlfriend?" she blushes and you can feel the heat on her cheeks. She nods and you kiss her nose. "I would be honoured."

"In that case, you have to connect the two halves of my paint." she takes your fingers and smears them down her nose to the tip. "It tells the people of my clan that I am taken." she explains and returns your fingers so that you can finish up her paint.

"In your culture, how do you ask someone to marry you?" you smear paint down her cheek before stepping back to admire your work.

"Many gifts and shows of strength to prove that you have the ability to take care of your partner." she explains. "However, since I am the Commander, I have to publicly present these gifts and my people decide if they are good enough for my chosen one."

"Why do your people decide?" you ask and wash your hands off in the wash bowl.

"Because I am the commander. The person I choose will be an extension of me. They make sure that the person is honoured." she explains as she checks your work in her knife. You don't miss when she smiles to herself and touches the new mark between her nose, but you pretend not to notice.

"How is it?" you ask with your back turned to her.

"It is perfect." her voice is closer than you anticipated, her hand on your side turns you around to face her and she kisses you. You are careful not to smudge her paint.

Less than half an hour later, she is sat on her throne at the head of a Grounder banquet. Indra's replacement was to her left and you were to her right. In front of the Commander’s long table were more Grounders than you could count. You come to the conclusion that the entire city must have been cooking since the moment you got back today. 

"You did really well today, Clarke." Lexa tells you, leaning across the gap between your chairs. "You held your own when the generals asked you some almost impossible questions. You stood your ground when they were just trying to make you fail."

"Thanks. I'm not going to let myself seem weak to them. We all know that this alliance is the best thing for both sides." You tell her and smile. Her eyes dance with something that looks a lot like joy, maybe happiness. She smiles a little at you. "You look very powerful tonight, heda." You remark and her eyebrows lift slightly.

"And you are as beautiful as ever." Her hand covers yours on the table and you'd really like to kiss her right now. But you both know that that wouldn't be a good idea. With Lexa wearing her paint to show that she is taken, most people had put two and two together and understood that it was you who had claimed her, but you both agreed that you should both remain as professional as possible when you weren't in her tent.

She got to her feet and there was a wave of quiet which washed over those who were present. Her shoulders were squared and drawn backwards as she got ready to address her people. Everything about her said, 'I'm powerful, listen to me,' and it sent a shiver down your spine.

"Tonight, we celebrate a union of people. The Skaikru are once again becoming our allies. In the weeks to come, there will be noticeable changes in our city and to our way of life. Do not fear this change, it is for the better. I can assure you all that nothing will happen that will not benefit us. Eat, drink, and enjoy this night. Soon we shall be celebrating with our new friends." She turned to you and gestured for you to stand. You did happily. The Grounders erupted in cheers and for once, you felt like you belonged somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr at 01shane01


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is really a big softie with feelings and insecurities like the rest of us

When you get back to Lexa's tent, you are exhausted. It had been a fantastic night with an even better atmosphere. While the Grounders might have been weary of your presence in the city almost a week ago, tonight they welcomed you with open arms and you couldn't have been happier.  
  
As you take off your jacket, soft lips attach themselves to the base of your neck and you shiver, feeling the rough material of her armour against you. She sucked on the skin and flicked her tongue over what would most likely be a soft purple mark. You sigh happily as you turn into her and capture her lips with your own.  
  
"I wish we could have spent the day shut away in here." she mutters in between kisses. You hum in agreement and wrap your arms around her neck.  
  
"I can't get enough of you, Lexa." You pull her closer to you and let everything that is Lexa surround you.   
  
"I'm right here, Clarke." She tells you tenderly. You silently unclasp her armour, certain that one day you won't fumble with the complex straps anymore. She seems to understand what you need and helps you rid her of her clothes before she begins undressing you.  
  
When you are both free of barriers, she pulls you to lay down on the furs and you happily follow her. You lay on your back and she presses her body right up against you. She kisses your forehead and smiles down at you before claiming your lips again. Your arms wrap around her and you huff in frustration because she still isn't close enough.   
  
"What has brought this on, Clarke?" She asks after what feels like forever. You dont say anything for a little while as she peppers kisses over your cheeks and forehead. She's practically on top of you now.  
  
"I am overwhelmed." You whisper. She pulls back and looks at you, the flickering light of the candles making her face light up beautifully.  
  
"By what?" She frowns.  
  
"By you." Is all you say and she knows what you mean. Your emotions are taking you, just like they did to her the other night. You're feeling everything all at once. Your remaining anger at her for leaving, the relief of seeing her again and finally having her back in your life. You feel the fear of allowing someone to have such a hold on you and what it would do to you if you ever lost them.   
  
She holds you all night long and you want to utter those three words to her, but you want to be anything but exhausted from a long meeting and a long dinner party in your honour before you say it. She knows how you feel and you know how she feels. But you want to tell her eventually.  
  
xx  
  
Over the next few weeks, the Sky People's presence in the city becomes more and more noticeable. There are numerous meetings with the Commander and you let Marcus speak for the Sky People, since you just feel like a moderator anyway. You hadn't spent a night at Camp Jaha since you had gone to propose the alliance to them.  
  
Your mother had cornered you a few times about this, but you just told her that you needed to be with the Tree People right now. You told her that they make things easy and that it is what you need right now. She tells you that you have had almost nine months of 'easy', and you walk away from her. You know that one day she is going to tell you to decide what side you're on. She doesn't understand that there aren't sides anymore.  
  
Octavia is training to become a general, so she sits in on a lot of meetings now. You are surprised that Bellamy isn't there, but he tells you that not long after the fight at Mount Weather, your mother and Kane made it very clear who was in charge at Jaha and even threatened him with shock lashings when he tried to speak for the remaining one hundred. You confronted her about this and she just tried to use the age card. You used the Commander as an example; how she is so young and still manages to rule her people with respect and grace. She just glared at you and walked away.  
  
Lexa had begun teaching you the language of her people. Sometimes she got frustrated with you, and others she found it highly amusing when you would get it wrong, or mess up the pronunciation and end up inadvertently disrespecting the entire city. Her response would depend on what kind of day she had had. You'd never tell her, but you loved the nights where she would be pissed off from someones incompetence and come back to the tent and take it out on you in the dirtiest way possible.  
  
There had been a couple of occasions, like tonight, where she wouldn't come home until the sun began to rise. You would ask her where she'd been, but she would just shrug and say 'around'. Tonight, however, you decided to look for her. It had crossed your mind once that she was cheating, but you remember how hard it was for her to open up to you that you highly doubted that that was what she was doing. She left her armour in the tent as well, so you know she can't be far.  
  
You find her in the stables after about half an hour of searching. She is stood with her head against the snout of her horse. The giant black creature towers over her, but he bends his head to her. You watch for a few minutes. Neither of them move and you smile at the image, trying to commit it to memory as her hand moves lazily over the horse's cheek. You're about to leave her and walk away when she speaks up.  
  
"I wondered how long it would take before your curiosity got the better of you." She doesn't speak loudly, nor open her eyes.  
  
"How did you know it was me?" You take a couple of steps towards her.  
  
"I know the sound of your footfalls." You nod, because of course she would know that. "Plus, you're the only person in the entire city, Sky or Tree Person, who would dare linger when the Commander is with her horse." she finally looks up at you with a smile on her face, her hand now stroking the horses nose.  
  
"Do you want me to leave?" You ask her.  
  
"No, I was going to come back soon anyway." She uses her free hand to pull you closer to her and she kisses you. She whispers goodnight to her horse in Trigedasleng and something that sounds a lot like a name. You look at her and her cheeks redden a little. "I didn't think you would hear that."  
  
"You named your horse?"   
  
"He seems calmer since I found his name." She defends, taking your hand and leading you back out into the city.   
  
"What is it?" You ask and try to break your hands now that you are under the eye of anyone who might be awake at this time. She doesn't let you and instead pulls you closer.   
  
"Phoenix." She says simply. "It is a very fitting name, I think. They say that the Commander's horse returns to this world, just like her spirit. When her old horse dies, there is always one foal who is inexplicably drawn to her. From the ashes of the old, comes the new." She explains. You stopped having to ask her to explain things a while ago. She does it now without being prompted because she knows you are intensely interested in everything to do with her.

"Clarke?" Someone calls your name and Lexa drops your hand.  
  
"I'll be there soon." You tell her, seeing that it is Bellamy. She clenches her jaw before walking away.  
  
"So, you and the Commander, huh?" He asks with a smirk.  
  
"Yeah,” You smile, “but keep it to yourself. The alliance is still young and we don't want to risk anything." You turn to him and run your hand through your hair.  
  
"I just don't understand how you can forgive her for leaving us all to die." He muses.  
  
"Because she did exactly what I would have done, Bel. I didn't understand it at the time, but I do now." You try to get across to him what you have been trying to get your mother to see for the last few weeks.  
  
"Seems to me that she’s just manipulating you."  
  
"You’re starting to sound like my mother." You roll your eyes and start to walk away. He grabs your arm to stop you and you glare at him.  
  
"Then don't you think that for once she’s starting to make a little bit of sense?" He tries to reason. "Are you not angry at her? Because most of your people still are."  
  
"I spent eight months alone in the woods being angry at everyone." You seethe at him because really, of all people, you should not have to explain yourself to Bellamy. "Do you really think that I am such a fool as to go into this blindly? Lexa came and found me when I needed her. She put me back together and understood everything that I have done. Everything that has happened since we came to the ground."  
  
"Clarke, you know that I will stand by you, no matter what. But our people are not so easily persuaded." he says and you shrug.  
  
"Only time will fix their trust. I doubt it was easy for the Commander to forgive us for burning three hundred of her people, but she did. It’s time for us to do the same." You tell him goodnight and leave him.

“What did Bellamy want?” Lexa asks when you enter the tent. She is already in bed under the furs and you hurry to join her.

“He just wanted to talk.” You tell her because there’s really no need to worry her with petty problems that you both already know about.

“It’s a little late to randomly strike up a conversation, don't you think?” She huffed and pulled the furs up under her chin. You lay on your side and lean over her.

“You’re not jealous, are you, Lexa?” You grin, running your finger over her jawline as she clenches it.

“I have never been jealous, and I do not intend to start now.” she shrugs and you immediately know she’s lying. She has always been jealous over Bellamy and you cannot see that changing anytime soon.

“Lexa,” You coo before kissing the woman's cheek, “Do you know how wet it makes me, knowing that you are jealous?”

“Oh?” Her eyebrow lifts and she looks at you.

“Mmhm,” You kiss her, sucking her bottom lip into your mouth before biting on it. She gets the message pretty soon and you are laying on your back before you know it, arching up into her touch as she toys with your hardened nipples. “You’re overdressed.” You growl when she tries to rejoin your lips.

She chuckles at you before ripping her shirt over her head and capturing your lips again. She wastes no time in taking off your pants and running her fingers through your dripping core. You sigh at the touch, because wow. Lexa’s fingers are deft and skilled in ways that you never thought was possible. Within seconds, the Commanders fingers are inside of you, thrusting hard and making you cry out with every movement. Her lips never leave your skin as she sucks purple bruises into your flesh. Your hands grip onto her back and you cannot help but claw at her as she pushes you into your orgasm. She bites your neck as an answer to your scratches, and as your stomach starts to uncoil, she redoubles her efforts. Her palm slams into your clit as she uses her hips to put more force into her movements.

“You’re mine, Clarke,” She whispers in your ear as you come for the second time.

“I am, I’m yours,” you mutter over and over as she brings you down.

“So maybe I am jealous.” Lexa admits as you lay panting, trying to catch your breath. Her finger draws patterns on your stomach and she refuses to make eye contact with you. You smile and take her hand in yours.

“Jealousy can be a good thing. It keeps you caring. But I assure you that you have no reason to be jealous of Bellamy.” You try to ease her worries.

“Yes, I do.” She finally looks at you and you frown. “He knew you before you were burdened with this world. With the ground. You look at him in a way that I know you will never look at me, because you have good memories with him.”

“I have good memories with you too though, Lexa.” You tell her and your heart breaks because you kind of know that what she’s saying is true.

“Perhaps, but not carefree memories. I have never had that luxury, so I do not know what it is like to be carefree.” She started playing with your fingers. “I just envy that. I am so acutely conscious that our past is marred with tragedy and sadness, and our future, although together, will be tainted with the same brush, because of who I am.” You watch pain fly across her face. “I don’t want you to see a brighter future with someone else and leave me.”

“Lexa,” You whisper, your heart breaking. “I will not leave you. Not for Bellamy, not for anyone. There is only you.”

“How can you be sure?” Her eyes fly to yours again briefly.

“Because you are everything to me. I would give up the ground for you.” She scoffs.

“It’s not like the ground has been very good to you, Clarke.” She pulls away from you and lays on her back, staring up at the roof of the tent.

“I have dreamt about coming down here since I can remember. Maybe it isn’t exactly how I imagined it to be, but I know that I don't want to be anywhere else.” You push yourself up onto your elbow and look down at her. “Lexa,” You wait until she looks at you, and when she does, her eyes are brimming with tears. “Ai hod yu in.”

When your words reach her, her eyes widen and she swallows hard. For a second, she looks as if it hurts her to hear the words. But then she smiles from ear to ear and you're certain that the world brightens up just a little bit because of it. She is beautiful and powerful and she is yours just as much as you are hers.

“Do you mean that?” she sits up a little and your eyebrows furrow.

“I thought you knew by now.” You say and she leans in to kiss you.

The next night when she goes down on you, she notices a mark that wasn't there before. It sits on your inner thigh and is just big enough to be easily distinguishable. Tattooed in black ink is the pattern of Lexa’s war paint. She asks you why, and you tell her that you wanted to prove to her that this is going to last. When she realises that someone would have had to be as intimately close to you as she was then, she asks who did it. You assure her that it’s fine. You tell her that you asked Octavia to do it, but she didn't want to ruin it, so Lincoln did it instead. She relaxes immediately, because those two are too smitten with each other to be a threat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Ai hod yu in' - I love you
> 
> Tumblr: 01shane01   
> Feel free to come say hey


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to last chapter. Sorry its a bit late, but the last chapter is finished and ready to post in a week time.

You walk into Lexa’s tent and see her sat on a chair, reading some kind of journal. You imagine that it is a previous Commander’s war diary because of the wistful look on her face. She doesn't look up when she hears you come in, and you don't try to be quiet. You pull her chair out so that she faces you and she looks at you in surprise. You smirk at her and place yourself in her lap.

“Clarke?”

“Shof op.” You whisper against her lips before you capture them between your own. They are rough and chapped, just like your own, but they are hungry. She kisses you back with the same need that you are feeling. Her hands find your thighs and ignite a trail of fire underneath the material. You nip on her upper lip and tug it, making her moan beneath you and you smirk because of how quickly she yields to you now. “I need you.” You tell her.

“I know.” she breaths and her eyes are closed as she takes in a breath. When she opens them again, they are full of fire and you would fear the look she is giving you, but it just makes you shiver in anticipation.

You rest your forehead against hers briefly before you tug at her clothes. She gets the message and pulls her shirt off as you take your own off. She leaves her binding on and you take off your bra. Before it hits the floor, her lips are on you and her hands knead the flesh. You moan and arch up into her because her tongue holds some kind of magical power over you. Your hands tangle in her unbraided hair and hold her head against you as you moan her name.

“Lexa,” You feel the vibration of her humming against you. She grazes her teeth over your sensitive nub before she sucks and kisses along to your other nipple. You know that there will be bruises where she sucked you, but you don't mind. The last ones she gave you have recently faded.

Her free hand trails across your stomach, scratching her nails into the skin as your hips move slowly of their own accord and you should be embarrassed about the way your body is responding to her, but it only turns you on that bit more. She knows the effect that she has on you and she uses it to her full advantage most of the time. Her hand makes its way further south and deftly undoes the button on your pants.

When her lips detach from you, you stand briefly to allow your pants to fall. She watches their descent and trails her eyes slowly over every inch of new flesh that is revealed. Her hands reach out to you and guide you to stand between her legs. She presses her face into your stomach and you feel her sigh against you before she presses a series of open mouthed kisses around your belly button. Your fingers run through her hair and keep it out of the way so that you can watch her.

“Please, Lexa.” You whine when her fingers trace torturously light patterns from the outside to the insides of your thighs.

“What, Clarke?” She looks up at you through her eyelashes and you almost lose it right then and there because of the smirk she gives you. In that moment she is more Heda than Lexa and as much as you love Lexa, the smug, cocky confidence suits her too damn well.

“Fuck me, please.” You tug her head back and make her look at you as you take your place in her lap again.

She cups your hot core and you hear her moan quietly at how wet you are for her already. Thankfully, she doesn't tease you. She thrusts two fingers into you and you bite your lip as you clutch her shoulders.

“Miss me?” she smirks and curls her fingers.

“Yes!” You cry out, rocking your hips against her. Her eyes study your face and you wrap an arm around her neck because you need her to be closer. “More,”

She obliges, entering you with a third finger and you are so close. Wet sounds fill the tent along with your breathy moans and cries, begging Lexa not to stop, pleading with her to make you cum.

She chuckles deeply, straight from her throat, before she grabs your head and makes you look at her. She kisses you hard and you're pretty sure you catch her lip with your teeth but she says nothing. Lexa makes sure to curl her fingers and hit that spot inside of you a few more times before she tells you to cum.

Your whole body tenses and your eyes slam shut as stars erupt behind them. Your body releases with a shudder and she has one arm around you to make sure that you don't fall, while the other works you through your orgasm.

You don't know how long you stay there, your head resting against hers and her breath tickling your chest. Every now and again she kisses you and you think that maybe you have gone to heaven.

“Miss me?” She repeats as a whisper and you cannot help but laugh.

“You know I did.” You tell her firmly. You had been in Camp Jaha for a few days to attend to some business. “But, did you miss me?” She just hums against you before she picks you up and puts you on the furs. “I’m so tired, I’m probably going to fall asleep.”

“Rest, Klark kom Trigedakru.” You smile lazily at her as she lays next to you.

“I’ve never felt more at home, than when I am with you.” You tell her because although you are officially still a Sky Person, she knows that you have been having a lot of difficulty calling yourself one for a while now. You feel her kiss your forehead as sleep engulfs your body.

xx

You decide that you should begin training with the Tree People because you need to learn how to fight. Your gun is only useful when there is ammo in it, and without it, you are screwed. So you wander into the army’s side of the city and Octavia directs you to where the majority do their training. It is difficult to begin with and you know that they are going easy on you, but you don't want that. Part of you thinks that they are a little scared, not of you, but of what Lexa would do if they were to hurt you.

It is common knowledge at this point that you and Lexa are exclusive. Your mum was not happy when she found out and the alliance did shake for a week or two before she finally took her head out of her ass and saw your relationship for what it was. Your friends were all happy for you though and you kind of wanted them to get to know Lexa in the way that you do. You know, however, that she would never let her walls down around them, so you don't try and force it.

It takes about a week for the Tree People to start training with you properly. You had gone away a few times pretty sore and none of them had gotten hurt, so they assumed that they could finally treat you the way that you had been asking them to. What they didn't know, was that you had been doing everything you could to hide your training from Lexa because you wanted to surprise her.

You are sparring against one of the better warriors in the camp. He fights well and you struggle to block his blows. He knocks you down, but you get up again, taking a couple of seconds to plan what the best way to attack him would be. He is twice as big as you and you are sure that there is no way that you’re going to win this fight. But then you think about Lexa and how small she is, yet you have seen her take down men even bigger than this one.

You take your best swings at him and your blunt sword even makes contact a couple of times, but he is faster and he sees almost every single one of your moves coming. As his shoulder makes contact with you to knock you down, someone shouts behind you.

“Em pleni!” The voice is strong and powerful, but you're on your way to the ground and the grounder is hovering on top of you with his blunt sword at your throat, so it takes you a few moments to recognise that it is the Commander.

You look up at her from where you are led on the ground, the man above you looks terrified as the Commander spits for him to get up in Trigedasleng. As he rises, he holds his arm out to you and you take it. She is glaring at him and you fear for him for a second before you step into the Commander’s line of sight.

“Leksa, hod op.” You put your arm out to her, not making contact. She is pissed off, it is written all over her face.

“Are you hurt?” She asks you softly while her eyes are ablaze with that familiar flame you recognize from when Lexa would return from the battlefield.

“A couple of cuts and bruises, but I’m fine.” You assure her.

She turns to her guard. “Frag em op.”

“Lexa, no.” You growl at her. “I asked them to treat me like any other person.”

“But you aren't.” She walks away, but her guards remain. You tell them not to kill the warrior, otherwise you will kill them. You glance back at the man who had you pinned to the ground only moments before and he nods in thanks.

She’s in her tent when you find her.

“Lexa, you can't just kill anyone who hurts me.”

“Yes, I can.” She turns to look at you and her eyes are only burning brighter. “What were you thinking? They could have killed you!”

“I need to be stronger, I can't just rely on my gun to be there for me.” You argue and she shakes her head.

“Why didn't you come to me?” Hurt replaces the anger in her eyes for a brief second. “You may not identify with the Sky People anymore Clarke, but they still look to you to lead them. As a leader, your people cannot see you struggling. You showed a great amount of weakness to them and it escapes me how you think that you are going to show them that you are strong again.”

“I wanted to surprise you.” Your voice is as small and you feel suitably chastised, because you know that she is right. You didn't think it through properly. Maybe you should have asked Octavia or Lincoln to train you.

Her face changes instantly and she is in front of you, cradling your face.

“Clarke,” She breathes.

“Don't be angry at me.” You say and her lips press against yours briefly.

“Let me tend to your wounds.” You nod and take off your shirt and sit on the table. There are a couple of small cuts marring your stomach and arms and Lexa takes her time in cleaning them. “I was scared.” She says to the rag that she is using. “I have never been as scared in my lifetime.”

Your heart breaks for her. You use your hand to pull her chin upwards, making her look at you. Her eyes shine with unshed moisture and her throat is bobbing in the tell-tale way it always does when she is trying to suppress her emotions.

“He could have killed you, Clarke.”

“But he didn't.” You say softly and run your finger along her jawline.

“But he could have. And if you were anyone else but mine, I am certain that he would have done a lot worse than a handful of superficial wounds. These will bruise because of the force he would have had to use to cut you with training swords.” She looks down and collects herself. When she looks back at you, the tears are gone and she is composed once more. “Let me train you.” Her voice is small and nervous, like she is afraid that you will refuse her.

You look at her for a moment. This is about more than training. It is about how she felt when she saw you being taken down by someone who could have quite easily ended your life. It is about how, in those few moments, she must have been terrified because she had let down her walls for you and you kinda almost did get yourself killed. You knew that they wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt you, but it didn't change the facts.

“Okay.” She smiles at you and your heart aches in your chest. “You’re not going to lose me, Lexa.”

“You cannot be certain of that.” She says sadly and kisses your shoulder before she cleans away the water bowl and rag.

xx

For the next few weeks, Lexa takes you out to what she calls her quiet place every morning to train you. If you get time before the sun sets, you both head out with some food packed up. It has only happened a few times, but it was nice to relax with her in the clearing. It was a large green meadow with tall grass and a stream flowing through it from a small waterfall near the edge.

She always wears her armour out to the clearing, but then as soon as you arrive, she removes it and hands you her sword. She tells you that it was her first sword, the one that she trained with as a child. She tells you about how Anya used to bring her out here for her lessons because she would always want to go and train with the other kids and this place calmed her down enough to focus.

“So you grew up in Polis?” She nods once and you smile because you can just imagine a tiny version of her running around the city and giving Anya a headache as tiny Lexa got to grips with becoming the Commander.

It doesn't take her long to help you improve on your technique. She is a good teacher.

One morning when your training is over, she leads you back into the city to the armoury and tells you to stand in the center of the tent and wait. She returns a few minutes later with a man and a lot of heavy looking material. She asks him to take your measurements and asks him to begin sculpting you some armour. Lexa told you when you first began training with her that only when a warrior was ready, would they receive their armour.

“Does this mean-?”

“No.” She laughs. “But maybe soon. I think you need a bit of an incentive.” Her smile is small because she never smiles at you properly unless you are alone, but you can see the full beam tugging at the corner of her lips.

It takes another three weeks for Lexa to deem you ‘ready’.

You wake up one morning, used to the soreness in your body from pulled muscles and strained limbs, and every morning it gets easier. The bed is cold beside you and you turn over and look around the tent for Lexa.

In the centre of it, however, is a mannequin with armour on it, not too dissimilar from the one that Lexa had taken to storing hers on since the Sky People retrieved a few from the Mountain. You get up and inspect the armour. It looks amazing and you run your fingers over it, feeling the cool treated hide.

“You’re awake.” You jump and turn around, finding Lexa walking into the tent with what you assume is the final part of your armour; a shoulder pad with a length of red material hanging from it. You would have said that it was Lexa’s if it weren’t for the fact that it looked too new with no battle marks, and she was wearing hers.

“I am.” You smile.

“So, you have been making a lot of progress with your training.” She lifts the shoulder pad onto the mannequin. “I thought that maybe today you could start learning to move with your armour weighing you down.”

“You’re giving me my armour?” She nods and you try not to squeal in your excitement. “This looks familiar.” You remark as you run your fingers down the red cloth from the shoulder pad. She blushes and plays with the hilt of her dagger.

“Well the pad and cloth are to represent your position as leader.” She shrugs it off and refuses to make eye contact with you. You kind of think you hear her mutter something, but you can't be sure what she said.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I picked red for you because it’s my colour.” She huffs her exasperation because she's embarrassed. “I wanted us to match in more than just war paint when we go into battle.” Her cheeks are more red than you’ve ever seen them.

“We wear matching war paint?” You ask.

“Yes. I have told you this.” She is sharp and trying to slip into her protection of Commander, but you won't let her. “It’s so that, if we die, everyone else will know who to inform when they find our bodies. Everyone knows that we are together, but it is tradition.” You take a couple of steps closer to her, taking her hand in your own and resting your head on her shoulder.

“I think it’s very cute that you want us to match.” You tell her and Lexa shrugs you off of her shoulder to glare at you.

“Don't mock me, Clarke. I thought that you would appreciate the gesture, since the customs that I have grown up with do not match yours. This is different for me.” She admits, strapping the sword belt to the mannequin to finish the armour more tightly than she needed to.

“Hey,” You grab her hands and stop her, “it means a lot to me, Lexa, it really does.” You realise that maybe she has been giving you a heck of a lot lately and you haven't really stopped to think about what it means for her. You have been slightly selfish and really the last thing you wanted to do was embarrass her when she was trying to be romantic, since romance isn't something that is typical for the Tree people. “I’m sorry.” You kiss her cheek and feel her smile a little.

You head out to the clearing together and train hard. It is a lot more difficult to train with the armour on. It is heavy and while it does not restrict your movement, you have to figure out how to move properly with it on and not lose your balance.

You’re sweating, breathing hard and covered in dirt. Your armour is chafing a bit, but Lexa says that that is normal. You have managed to etch a kind of proud look onto her face and you think that this might be one of the best days of your life because she is proud of your fighting abilities now and you did that.

You don't know how, but you actually managed to take her down. She falls hard, hitting the ground with a dull thud. She's breathing hard as you lean over her, your knees on her arm and across her hips and your sword at her throat, but she still smiles at you and you think you actually feel your soul heal a little bit more.

“Well done, Clarke.” Her voice is quiet and you move the sword but she makes no attempt to get up. Instead, her free arm comes up to the back of your neck and she pulls you down for a rough kiss.

Your lips fit together perfectly and you cannot help the slight whimper that leaves you when she bites on your lip. In one quick movement, you are on your back and she is grinning. You can't bring yourself to care that she kinda just took your victory away from you, because she’s beautiful and she’s Lexa.

She starts tugging at your armour, undoing the straps and pulling it off of you with something very close to animalistic need. Her eyes are dark and you think that maybe you aren’t the only one that gets turned on by the amount of adrenaline coursing through you after you've trained. Lexa manages to have your armour off a heck of a lot quicker than you’ve ever managed to get hers off and you frown a little.

“I’ve had more practice than you.” She reassures, kissing you again as her hands run underneath your shirt. She growls when she realises that you are wearing a binding and not your bra. “I think I prefer the other material.”

You laugh at her and sit up. Her mouth attaches itself to your neck as you remove her armour. You try your best to focus on the task at hand, but her lips and teeth are so distracting that it takes you a long time to rid her of her clothing. When you are done, she tears your shirt off and sucks on the skin that she’s exposed.

“I swear I heard that actually rip.” you tell her and she shrugs.

“I don't care, I want you.”

“Well, you're replacing it.” She huffs and pulls away.

“Clarke, I’m trying to fuck you.” She unwraps your binding and you shiver as the cold morning air hits your bare breasts. Lexa pushes you back. “So shut up about your wretched shirt.” She kisses down your body and you can't help the sounds that leave your throat. “If I had my way, you would never wear one anyway.”

She tugs your pants down and you swear you could cum right there because she's hardly ever like this with you. Her lips are on you before you can really comprehend what is happening and she is playing you as if it is her purpose in life to make you cum in the next two minutes. Her tongue presses into you and her thumb rubs tight, firm circles into you clit. You try to resist, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of knowing your body so well.

But then you look down at her and she is looking at you, her green eyes sparkle with her excitement. It is your undoing and you cum with a cry of her name. With no time at all, her fingers are inside of you and you clutch at the grass.

“Oh fuck, Lexa!” Your back arches and your eyes shut.

The next thing you know, her lips are on yours. You sloppily kiss her back, because the only thing that you are aware of right now, are her fingers pulsing inside of you. They're moving slowly, giving you just enough friction to make your body crave her, but not enough to give you any release.

Her mouth travels to your ear, sucking on all of the spots to make you shudder and moan. She whispers something in your ear, but you can't focus long enough to listen. Her fingers curl inside of you and your hands leave the grass in favour of clutching onto her back. Your nails dig into the skin there and she growls. Her fingers speed up with a renewed vigour. She pulls back and you can only assume that she is studying your face.

“Clarke, look at me.” You moan in response. “Listen to my voice and focus. Come on, Sky Girl, I know you can do it.” You take a few deep breaths and look at her. “That’s right, Clarke,”

“Lexa,” You whimper, and she knows. Her thumb presses against your clit and you're gone. Your hips buck wildly against her hand and your nails dig impossibly hard into her and she cries out in pain as you cum for a second time. The last thing you remember is her lips against yours as you pass out.

When you come to, you are dressed and covered in a blanket, your head resting on Lexa’s lap. Her hand is running absentmindedly through your hair. You curl into her and wrap your arms around her waist.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” You hear the smile in her voice and look up at her.

“It’s not “sleepy head” when you fucked me into a sex coma.” She gives you a self-satisfied smirk but says nothing. “How long was I asleep for?”

“A few hours. My guards returned after a short while and I sent them for food. They are no longer around.” She explains.

“They watched us have sex?” You sit up and glare at her.

“Have you not yet noticed, Clarke, that I can send my guards away with the smallest gesture?” She hands you some bread. “You would not have been comfortable with them around, so I sent them away.”

She hands you some water and wraps her arm around your shoulder. You lean into her and take a moment to look around. An idea strikes you.

“Let’s go cool down.” You smirk and stand up, tugging at her hand.

“I didn't think you could swim?” She raises an eyebrow and follows you anyway.

“We don't have to go in deep enough to swim.” You reach the edge of the waterfall pool. “Plus, you’ll save me.”

You catch her ‘of course’ as you join your lips and remove her shirt. Your blanket falls to the floor along with her shirt. Your bindings are next to go. She presses your bodies against each other and you rest your forehead against her. Nothing is said, but yet again, it doesn't need to be. You soak each other in and enjoy the intimacy of the connection you share. You breathe the same air and exchange kisses every now and again.

Eventually, you feel her thumbs hook into your pants and kiss her once again before she pulls back and relieves you of the last of your clothing. When she stands, you do the same for her and her hand joins yours before she leads you into the water.

It is cold, but bearable. She wades in and when the water is up to your thighs, she releases your hand and dives in. You watch her come up and wipe her hair out of her face. She looks beautiful, relaxed and carefree. You cannot help but smile at her, because when she told you that she had never been carefree, she was wrong.

“You’re going to have to learn how to swim if you wish to call yourself a warrior.” Her arms move across the surface of the water and you can see her legs kicking beneath her.

“Well, why don't you teach me?” Her head falls back and she laughs.

“I have taught you my language, I have taught you to fight, and now you ask me to teach you how to swim. When are you going to teach me something, Clarke?” she swims forward and stands, the water cascades from her body and for a moment you are transfixed.

“I have taught you how to love again.” She closes the distance between the two of you and pulls you further into the water.

“You certainly have. You’ve made me happy again.” The water comes up to your shoulders and you place your hands on her hips and make sure she is flush against you before trailing her fingers up her sides.

“You’ve got to have been so, so turned on since earlier.” You whisper in her ear.

“I might have been.” she says lowly and you know that the thought of what is to come takes over her.

“Let me do something about it.” Your fingers thumb her nipples and she closes her eyes. You have always loved how responsive she is for you. One of your hands continues to play with her nipple as the other reaches down and grips her ass. She moans softly in your ear and her fingers grip your arms. “You have scratches down your back. Do they hurt?”

You pinch her nipple as she nods. She turns around and you see at least a dozen scratches running the length of her back. Some are deeper than others. You kiss her shoulder and apologize. She tells you not to, it was the result of your passion for her and her love for you.

Lexa attempts to turn around, but you hold her in place, snaking one arm around her stomach, letting your nails scrape across the skin under the water. You feel goosebumps appear on her shoulder and her breath quicken.

“Clarke,” she pants, anticipation getting the better of her. She has only begged you twice in the past. The first time you were so surprised that you yielded to her straight away. The second time you dragged it out as long as possible, begging you and almost crying in frustration. It inflated your ego more than you care to admit.

Your hand breezes over where she wants it the most, making the water press against her gently, teasing her just enough.

“Lexa,” You suck on her earlobe.

“Please.” She swallows hard and you reward her by cupping her sex. She whimpers and you need her to fall apart.

“You never told me about the tattoos on your back.” You trail a line of kisses down her shoulder and suck on the skin there.

“You never asked.” Her voice is noticeably strained as you start to rub her clit.

“I’m asking now.”

“Of course.” her laugh is thick and gritty, her arousal dripping within it. “When I was younger, I was always obsessed with the sky. What was up there and what the stars were.” Lexa moans loudly and completely unabashed as you slide two fingers into her welcoming heat. Her head falls back onto your shoulder and you whisper for her to continue, moving your fingers painfully slow. “H-how do you expect m-me to continue w-when you’re d-doing this to me?”

“Because if you want me to make you cum, you’ll finish your story.” You bite down on her shoulder lightly.

“Clarke,” She whines. You speed up your fingers a little and her fingers thread with yours over her stomach. “I was always obsessed with the sky and what might be up there. Oh, fuck. S-something drew me to the sky. Anya always told me that, Clarke,” Lexa grips your hand tighter as you curl your fingers into her.

“I know, come on.” You prompt.

“S-she told me that I w-would fly away if I c-could. So w-when I became C-Commander, she designed it. T-tradition.” she struggled and your smirk widens.

“It was me who drew you to the sky, Lexa.” Your pace quickens inside of her.

“I know.” She breathes.

“I’ll teach you all about it one day.” You promise as she finally gets her release, clenching impossibly tight around your fingers.

  
You spent the entire day in the clearing with Lexa that day. It was a nice break to not have to worry about anything, and you could tell that it did Lexa a lot of good as well. Occasionally a guard would come and ask something or Lexa’s most trusted general would have something to discuss with her, but it never took long and she would come and wrap herself back up in your arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Add me on tumblr: 01shane01


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. Sorry for the wait, life just kinda sped by this last week.

A few days later, Lexa informed you that there was to be a feast. She said something about an old Grounder tradition at the first hunt of a new sun. You shrugged and put your armour on as she did. It had taken you a couple of tries to get it almost perfect, but Lexa still had to help you adjust it.

“It’s time to put your war paint on for the first time.” She tells you and mixes more paint than usual.

“Why now? And the last time I checked, we weren't at war.” You ask, taking the bowl from her and starting her paint.

“Because you have armour now.”

“But I have been walking around the city for the last week with armour on.” You frown in confusion. She smiles and you almost smudge the paint because you didn't expect the response.

“Yes, but this is the first formal occasion to which you are attending since I gave you your armour. Its like a, uhm, that thing you were telling me about when people become a certain age?” She stumbles and you don't know if you'll ever stop finding it cute when she tries to relate her traditions to your own.

“A rite of passage?” She nods and you don't say anything else until you pass her the bowl. “What happens when two warriors get together? How do they know whose paint to wear?” With Octavia and Lincoln it was easy because Octavia wasn't a warrior, and from what you have seen of the Tree People’s culture, men and women are seen as equals. It is strength that is the most respected trait.

“Sometimes it is age, others it is strength. Some of the clans we have joined with in the past use a form of marking to keep a track of how many people they have killed, so sometimes they use that. But most of the time, the couple just picks.” She tells you, dipping her fingers into the paint before she pulls the corner of her bottom lip in between her teeth and begins painting you. You cannot help the swelling in your heart at the utter concentration in her eyes. You wonder if that is what you looked like the first time that you did her paint. She does one side, then the other, and when she connects the two halves, she smiles. “All mine.” You lean forwards to kiss her, but she stops you with a hand on your chest.

“What’s wrong?”

“You will smudge it.” She frowns.

“You have let me kiss you more times than I can count with your paint on. It's been on my nose, my cheeks, my boobs, and my thighs.” You take her hands and you're pretty certain her cheeks redden a little.

“Yes, but this is your day.”

“I thought you said that this was some kind of tradition?” You raise an eyebrow and she tries avoid your eyes. “Did you lie to me?”

“Not really, it is a tradition.” She sighs and looks up. “But usually it is for a whole class of warriors, rather than just one person.”

“Lexa.” You coo and pull her hands against your chest.

“I wanted to honour you.” Her jaw squares and she swallows hard.

You are about to say something when a general comes in and tells you that it is time for the feast. She straightens your armour one last time, tightens a strap that was loose, and kisses the very tip of your nose. It makes you smile and you take her hand.

You take your seat beside Lexa, overlooking the mass of people who have gathered for a feast in your honour. There will be people all over the city tonight feasting and drinking in your name and you cannot believe how happy it makes you because the Tree People have welcomed you with open arms. To your left is Lexa and to your right is Octavia. Next to Lexa is one of her generals. You look in front of you and easily find your mother, Kane, and Bellamy. Everyone is here, and you have no doubts that Lexa made sure of it.

You certainly don't miss the look your mother gives you when she sees your armour or your face paint. Her eyes widen almost comically and you are glad that there are hundreds of other people around, because you’re sure that she wouldn’t approve of the choices you have made.

The Commander gestures for everyone to sit while she remains standing, ready to address the people.

“We are all gathered on this night to celebrate Clarke of the Tree and Sky People.” She says, speaking first in Trigedasleng and then in English. Lexa looks at you and you take your cue to stand up. There is a loud cheer that the Tree people begin and the Sky people soon join them. “She has trained hard and worked well and I think it is time that we celebrated her progress in becoming a Warrior.” Another cheer erupted. “Let us feast and drink, and when we wake, Clarke will be a Warrior.” The crowd cheered again and you waved your thanks to them.

“Mochof!” You call and look to Lexa. She motions for you to sit and she follows soon after. Her hand finds yours on the table and you look at her and smile. “Thank you for this.” You tell her as people place trays of food in front of you.

“Anything for the Sky Princess.” She smiles and for once, you don't hate being called ‘Princess’. She brings your hand to her lips and kisses it.

As the night wears on, you watch your friends dancing, drinking and joking with each other. A few people come up and talk to you, but you cannot bring yourself to leave Lexa’s side. She keeps smiling at you and you don't want to miss a single one. Her hand doesn't leave yours until Octavia comes up to give her a status report on the watch. She had gone to check up on her squad.

The next time her hand leaves yours, she gets up, puts a hand on your shoulder and whispers that she will be back shortly. She places a quick kiss to your cheek and disappears. You carry on talking with Monty and Jasper who have gotten more and more drunk as the night wore on. They soon leave and you laugh at their hyjinx around the campfire. Your mother is the next to join you.

“I haven’t seen you in a long time, Clarke.” She smiles tightly at you.

“Please don't try and tell me that I need to start spending more time in Camp Jaha.” You turn back to the table and tear off some bread.

“I’m not going to. Lexa came to speak to me a little while ago. She told me how you didn't feel comfortable there anymore. That was the last thing I wanted.” Your mum tells you and you are angry for a moment that Lexa felt the need to fight your battles for you, but at the same time you're glad because whatever happened, seemed to have done the trick. “I still don't trust her, Clarke.” You go to cut her off but she puts her hand up to silence you. “You, on the other hand, seem to trust her explicitly. That should be enough, right?”

You look at her for a few moments and you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes and a lump forming in your throat, because all you wanted from you mother was for her to just accept that you were capable of making your own choices.

“So you approve of our relationship?” You clarify. She nods.

“Seeing you like this,” She gestures to your face paint first, and then your armour, “will take a little bit of getting used to, however. I never thought my daughter would be a Grounder.”

“Mom, a few years ago, you never thought that any of us would see the ground.” You laugh and she smiles. The two of you chat like old times. Like you were still on the Arc and none of the bad things had happened.

A short while later, Lexa appears in the centre, right next to the campfire. As people notice her, they quieten down and your mother takes your hand and grins at you. You look at her quizzically until the Commander starts talking.

“People of the Sky, People of the Trees.” She speaks as she did earlier, first in Trigedasleng and then in English. “It is with great pleasure that you all bear witness to this moment. It is not one that I take lightly, but begin with great pride.” You look around and see slight confusion on everyone’s faces, but your friends and mother. Lexa looks at you and you raise your eyebrow, assuming this has something to do with you. She seems to take a breath to collect herself before addressing her people once more.

“As many of you know, our relationship with the Sky People has been a difficult one. We waged war against each other when we did not understand one another. We aligned with the Sky People, only to leave them for dead at the doors of Mount Weather. But you all know that the Sky Princess found it in her heart to forgive us and led us all towards another alliance which has proven to be prosperous for both sides. The Sky People are Tree People now, as we are Sky People.” When there were no sounds of disapproval, Lexa smiled at you. It was a full smile and your heart skittered in your chest, because Lexa’s smile was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. And this was the first time that she had allowed her smile free outside of her tent. Octavia stood and joined the Commander. In her hands was something wrapped in a red cloth.

“Over the last few months, the Sky Princess and I have gotten a lot closer. I have honoured her as well as I know how. I have tried to join our traditions as well as I could. The traditional show of strength for the Tree people is to hunt the biggest animal you can and to present it to your partner. I knew that Clarke would not appreciate this, so instead, I showed my strength by training her to be a Warrior.” Your heart leapt into your throat as you start to put the pieces of the last seven months together.

“Mum?” You whisper as she grasps your hand tighter, smiling and nodding towards the campfire as Octavia stepped up to address the crowd.

“Do all present find this an acceptable way to honour Clarke of the Sky and Tree people?” You could see that Octavia could barely hide her grin as she took in the resounding cheers from the people. To your surprise, your mother joined in.

You chanced a look at Lexa and she gave you the half grin that you used to get so infuriated by, but now love because it means that she knows she has done something right.

“I have gifted the Sky Princess with many things. Clothes to her taste, one of my finest horses, my very first training sword and a full set of armour. I have one final gift to give her.” Lexa turned to Octavia who handed her the red package before coming up to you and taking your hand. You look up at her and she looks so happy to have been given this part in the biggest moment of your life. You let her lead you around the table and up to Lexa who has unwrapped the gift. She kneels before you and presents you with a sword sheathed in an intricately designed leather scabbard. You look at the handle and it is a work of art, not unlike the scabbard, with gold artwork woven into the leather. The Commander pulls it out a little way and you are beyond knowing what makes a good quality blade, but you have to assume that it is.

“Do you accept this gift, Clarke of the Tree and Sky People?” Lexa asked. You swallow hard and try to swallow back the tears that are threatening before you answer.

“Of course.” She stands and tells you to turn, before removing your training blade from your armour and attaching the new one.

When you turn back to her, you swear you see tears in her eyes, which you know match your own. She clears her throat, eyes never leaving yours as Octavia addresses the crowd again, asking them if the gifts that their Commander has given you are enough to honour you. You barely register the sounds of cheering as she steps closer to you. Her breath tickles your face as you lose yourself in her eyes. You don't care that there is an entire army around you watching. Neither does she apparently.

“Heda?” Octavia prompts. She blinks a little and if it wasnt for the orange glow of the fire, you know her cheeks would be tinted slightly red. “They approve.” She informed and backed away.

“Mochof, Okteivia.” Lexa took your hand and knelt again in front of you. Her eyes were the only thing that gave away her nervousness as she looked up at you. You tried to smile reassuringly at her, but you knew you were crying and it probably looked more like a grimace. “I have been advised by your people on this next part, because this is a tradition that your people take part in. It is strange for my people and even more foreign for me as Commander.” She looks down and takes a deep breath before returning her eyes to yours.

“Clarke, from the moment I first met you, I knew that you were a force to be reckoned with. You are so strong and intelligent. You led your people with both your head, and your heart and it made you an astounding leader. And I fell in love with you right away. I told you that love was weakness all that time ago, but you have shown me that love is the greatest strength that one can possess.” She holds out her hand and Octavia places something in it. “Clarke, I want to live the rest of my days by your side. You challenge me like no other ever has. You push me to do better and to be better for our people. Please, will you do me the honour of marrying me? Of bonding with me?” She holds a ring up to you. It is a plain metal band, but you don't care. You are crying at full force now, but you don't miss a beat before giving her your answer.

“Sha! Sha, Leksa!” You pull her up to you and wrap her arms around her neck. She buries her face into your hair and you can feel her shoulder shaking as she begins to cry. Neither of you care about the state of your face paint at the moment, because this is actually happening.

Lexa set all of this up for you. She thought to ask someone about Sky People’s tradition and you bet that it was Octavia. Lexa cared enough about you to risk her position as Commander by making herself appear weak in front all of her people, and whatever visitors they had at the time, by bearing all of her feelings to you to honour one of their own traditions. She could have just not asked to marry you, but she thought that you were worth the risk.

“Ai hod yu in, Leksa.” You tell her as you pull away from her. She sobs and smiles, taking your cheeks in her hands to kiss you with force.

Neither of you noticed that the people were cheering or coming up to you both until Octavia put her hand on your shoulder, as she gently reminded the Commander that she needed to put the ring on your finger. You saw her blush that time as you held your hand out for her. The next thing you knew, your mother was beside you talking to Lexa.

“Thank you for your help, Abby.” She says, offering a hand for your mother to shake but she just ignored it and pulled Lexa into an awkward hug.

“You know, you will probably have to start calling me ‘mom’ soon!” The horrified look on Lexa’s face was enough to make you laugh.

“With respect, Abby of the Tree and Sky people, I had a Mother and she has now passed. In our culture it is disrespectful to address anyone else otherwise, especially after death.” You take Lexa’s hand and stand beside her. “It is not something I am willing to compromise on.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I have yet to learn about a lot of your customs.” She back tracks a little, “I didn't mean to offend you in any way. I didn’t know about this. I apologise. You can just call me Abby then. I won’t have any of this ‘Sky and Tree People’ stuff though.” Your mom offers Lexa a warm smile and another hug after Lexa reassures her that she is forgiven.

“She came to you for help?” You ask, kind of shocked that Lexa had been to your mother of all people. She just nodded proudly until the Commander spoke up.

“I did go to Octavia, but she informed me that Sky People tradition dictated that I ask your father for your hand in marriage. However, since that was not possible, your mother was the alternative. We argued it out and Abby finally came around.” Lexa told. Your mother soon dismissed herself, wishing you both to enjoy the rest of the night, but she had patients to tend to, so she had to leave. When she was out of earshot, you turn to your fiancée.

“You lied to her.”

“I don't know what you’re talking about.” She says in between polite nods and thanks for well wishes.

“The Tree People thing about their parents.” You raise an eyebrow at her. “I could tell by your tone of voice. Lying is not something you do well.”

“My mother is dead.” She smirks at you quickly before returning her attention to the people. Most of them were leaving, but there were still a fair few that wanted to see the party through to the end.

“She will find out eventually, and when she does, I will not protect you.” You kiss her cheek and she laughs at you again. “I’m mad at you by the way.” Lexa’s head whipped around so fast that you honestly thought that it would fly off her shoulders.

“Why?” her eyes widened almost comically and you reach into your pocket.

“You beat me to it.” You pull out a ring almost identical to the one that she had given you and slip it onto her finger.

xx

It is another few hours before everyone starts heading back to their tents. You and Lexa have been sat on a log next to the fire for as long as you care to remember. Her arm wrapped itself around you as you leaned into her shoulder. That is where you stayed. You joined in with any conversation that was directed at you, but for the most part, you were content to just sit in her embrace.

Her hand began stroking your arm slowly and eventually, when you assume her arm got a little tired, it slipped down around your waist and stroked your side. You had both abandoned your armour a little while ago. It had been left with Lexa’s guard who had strict instruction to take it back to her tent and place it with the utmost care onto the mannequins.

You find it incredibly hard to stop playing with the ring on your finger, and whenever Lexa noticed, she kissed your hair and took your hand in hers for a while until she needed it again. You knew that Octavia would give you two hell tomorrow for being too cute where people could see you, but tonight, you didn't care and you knew that Lexa didn't either. Tomorrow might be another matter, but it didn't bother you.

Eventually, when you are confident that there are very few people around and Lexa is just staring into the fire, you tilt your head upwards a little so that you have the perfect view of the impossibly soft skin on her neck. You bring your lips to it and kiss it softly. Her breath catches in response, so you suck a little and let your tongue flick across the skin.

“What are you doing, Clarke?” She hums, running her fingers through your hair after you have sucked a couple of marks into her neck.

“Nothing.” You whisper into her ear and suck on the lobe. She shivers and you know that it's not from the cold. “I love the taste of your skin.” You whisper again before nipping the fleshy skin.

“Thanks, I grew it myself.” She laughs, but you don't stop. “Clarke,” She warns, her voice having gotten a few octaves lower.

“Yeah?” Your hand comes up to her cheek to tilt her head to the side a little so you have better access to her jaw so you can kiss and nip your way along it. She swallows hard before answering.

“We need to go back to the tent.” You tilt her mouth down to yours and connect your lips. Your tongues meet and she immediately lets you into her mouth and you know you have won whatever subtle war you decided to wage. When you eventually let her explore your mouth, you suck on her tongue and she moans into your mouth. “Damn it, Clarke.” She pants, resting her forehead against yours.

“I’m innocent in all of this.” You stand and hold your hand out to her. She glares softly before taking it. You tug at her sharply and she falls into your arms. “You’re just so tempting, Lexa.” You mumble against her lips before claiming them in a rough embrace, your teeth clashing with hers, but neither of you care.

Soon, she pulls away from you and starts leading you back to the tent. But you don't have enough patience to wait until you get back there. Not when you are following behind her and her ass is swaying from side to side. You know that she isn't doing it on purpose, but in those tight black pants, they frame it perfectly. You dig your heels in the ground and she looks back at you.

“What's wrong?” her brow furrows in confusion, her lips parted slightly and the light tint to her cheeks is the only thing that give her level of arousal away. You close the distance between you two and push her against a nearby wall to some old building that is falling down. You kiss her harshly, but as soon as she comes to her senses, she flips you over and presses into you. “You’re not playing fair, Clarke.” She bites your lower lip and pushes her thigh between your leg. You gasp against her. Her lips are at your ear before you can really register it. “Do you know how badly I want you right now?”

You can't help the moan that pulls from your throat when her hands bring both of yours above your head.

“What I wouldn’t give to be able to have you right here where everyone can see how desperate you are.” Lexa tells you, applying more pressure with her thigh. “You should know better than to toy with me when I can't do anything about it.”

“You want me to apologize?” you grit out. She holds both of your hands in one and runs her finger slowly down your neck. Your body wants to surge forwards into her, you shiver at her touch and feel goosebumps erupt in her wake.

“No. I want you back in that tent. Now.” She growls and your knees turn to jelly.

“Why not here, now?” You whimper as the very last atom of upper hand that you had over her falls.

“Because our people could catch us, and I am not prepared for that.” Lexa pulled away from you and immediately, you felt like someone had dumped you in the middle of the coldest winter known to man. You needed to be near to Lexa. Her warmth was incomparable.

You catch up with her and join your hands, leaning into her side. She walks a bit faster and you don't complain. Her tent has never seemed as far away as it does right now.

When you finally reach the tent, Lexa holds the door open for you, following closely behind. The flaps barely have time to shut before she is pressed against your back, her arms around you and her mouth on your neck. She bites down and you know that she is trying to commit her payback for earlier. But she won't succeed.

You turn in her embrace and wrap your arms around her neck. You kiss her softly and you feel the tension between the two of you all but disappear.

“We’re getting married.” You grin against her lips.

“I could think of worse people to be married to,” She smiles back playfully and your heart clenches at the echo of words that you once said to her, “ai Heda.” Lexa whispers before connecting your lips once more. Your breath catches at the meaning behind her words and you barely noticed that she pulled back a little to begin freeing both of you of your clothes.

When you feel a tugging at your arms as she lifts your shirt, you look at her and her eyes are so open and raw, so full of emotions that she used to swear that she would never feel. You just want to crumble. You want to take her up in your arms and protect her, but you know that she doesn't need you to. She is the Commander of the the Grounder army. The fiercest, most ruthless leader that you have ever heard of.

And she is yours.

Her lips are on your skin again and your whole body shivers. She feels it and smirks against you. All thoughts of love and romance flee from your mind, replaced with one desire. The desire to wipe the smirk off of her face and to replace it with with a creased brow and cries of your name.

You turn the tables on her, taking away what control she thought she had. You push her backwards until the backs of her knees touch the bed you had made her install. It was causing havoc on your back to sleep on the hard ground all of the time. You kiss her as you work on undoing her belt. She turns to putty in your hands when you move your tongue just right.

You push her down and she bounces a little and you cannot help but let your eyes focus on her chest. She catches your gaze and raises her eyebrow.

“You have the rest of our lives to gaze at my breasts, Clarke.” Lexa reaches out for you and pulls you down on top of her.

“Well if you want to use that logic, then I have the rest of our lives to have sex with you, so shall we call a rain check on tonight?” You make a move to get up and fake a yawn, “I am feeling pretty tired.” She grabs your hand and pulls you back, her hands gripping themselves into your hair as she brings your lips together once again.

It’s all you need to unleash your desire upon her.

You kiss down her body, easily finding the spots that make her toes curl each and every time. She is squirming and moaning against you by the time you reach your destination. You pull away to give her a brief reprieve and she sits up, resting her weight on her elbows.

“You are beautiful.” you tell her. She blinks a couple of times before cupping your head and guiding it to where she wants it. Her leg lifts onto your shoulders and you groan when you smell her dripping sex.

You press into her and take a long lick through her folds. She breathes your name and you look up at her while you suck on her engorged clit. Her head falls backwards as you tease her entrance with your fingers. Her chest is flushed red as it heaves. Her heel digs into your back when you slowly push two fingers into her.

“Oh, Clarke!” Her hips cant forwards and you redouble your efforts on her clit, flicking over it with your tongue, tracing patterns across it. Her pussy clenches around you, her hands trying to find purchase on the furs beneath her. One tangles itself in the bedding while the other falls across her face when your fingers curl upwards, hitting the rough patch of nerves within her.

Her moans get louder as you fingers move faster. She's close, you can feel it. Your jaw is starting to ache, but you don't mind. It will be worth it to see her fall apart.

“Clarke,” she whimpers, unable to control her body anymore. You move your other arm from around her thigh and grab her hand when she starts to quiver as her orgasm hits her. Her hips push into you and her back arches. Her hand grips yours impossibly tight and you want to cry out from the pressure of her heel digging into your back.

You feel her wetness coat your fingers and smile against her while you stroke her down. You don't remove your fingers, instead giving one last kiss to her clit and leave a trail wet open mouthed kisses up her body, her leg making no attempt to leave your shoulder. Your fingers continue to move slowly. You lift her arm away from her face and she blinks up at you. She's breathing hard and she's struggling to focus her eyes on you.

Slowly, you ease a third finger into her and she lets out the dirtiest, loudest groan that you have ever heard leave her lips. You rest your forehead against hers, teasing her lips with your own as you draw your fingers out to the tips, before languidly returning them into her tight, clenching heat.

“Beja, Heda Klark,” Lexa whines in her sensitivity.

“Tell me, Lexa.” You finally take her lower lip between your teeth and bite down gently as you tug on it.

“Faster, beja!” Her voice holds tones of certain desperation and you are happy to oblige.

With renewed strength in your arm, that had started to tire, you drive your fingers into her at a speed and force that is only accomplished because of the gain in strength now that you are a warrior. You are thankful for it. Her hands cling to your back and her nails break through your skin. The leg that isn't hooked over your shoulder, spreading her even wider for you, wraps over your hip. It’s not going to be much longer before she is coming undone beneath you.

“Let go, Lexa.” You breathe against her and she’s gone. “That’s it.” You gently guide her through her release and her body quakes before going limp. You allow yourself to be smug as you take your fingers out of her and lick them clean. She struggles to keep her eyes open to watch you as your mouth wraps around your fingers.

“Don't look so self-satisfied.” she mutters, arching her back to stretch. You move her leg from your shoulder and place it on the bed slowly, sure that it would probably be a bit sore by now.

“Why not?” You press your body down against her and stroke her cheek.

She sighs from tiredness, “Because I have done this to you a lot of times.” She turns on her side, effectively pushing you off of her, before she curls into your side. A few moments pass and you think she has fallen asleep, but then she speaks again. “I'm really going to miss this.”

“What?” You sit up and look at her face, forcing her to jolt awake.

“Well a tradition of the Tree People is that, after having agreed to bond with each other, after the initial sex the couple might have if they choose to, they agree to not be intimate with each other again until their bonding ceremony.. which is typically three months later.” Her voice is sleepy, but very serious.

“You're kidding right? Because, like, I don't want to complain or anything but you came twice and you're about to pass out and I'm turned on here, Lexa. I don't think I can go three months without sex. Normally I wouldn't care, but three months, Lexa. I like sex. I especially like sex with you!” You ramble because seriously, someone could have warned you about it. She just looks at you, her expression void of any kind of emotions. You lean over her and make her look in your eyes. “Listen to me, Lexa, can we at least touch ourselves? Because if not, you get super grumpy and I get really angry, so maybe we should just not see each other until we get married.”

Lexa shakes her head and gets up to get a drink, assuming that she isn't going to get the sleep that she so desperately wants. But you need answers.

“Lexa?” She ignores you, gulping down a cup of water. “Please answer me?”

“Do you want a drink?” she rolls her eyes at you.

“I want you to fuck me, that’s what I want.” You say in a frustrated sigh and let a small hopeless whimper leave your lips. She comes up to you with a cup in her hand and stands between your legs. You bury your nose in her stomach and her hand strokes through your hair.

“Clarke, look at me.” she tells you, tugging gently on your hair to get your attention. You take one last deep breath from her skin and look up at her. “I was joking.” She smiles, proud at herself for finally making an effective joke. It takes a few seconds for her words to finally sink in.

“You are not getting any from me for at least a week.” You mumble and fall backwards against the bed.

“Any what?” Her brow furrows in confusion as she takes her place on top of you, and you know that you won't push her off.

“Sex. It’s a phrase.” You explain and try to ignore her lips on your skin. Lexa laughs and her warm breath against you makes your skin break out in goosebumps.

“Sure.” Is all she says before a moan breaks free from your lips.

The passion only seemed to escalate from there. The night didn’t end until the sun had begun to rise and the birds began to chirp outside the tent. You and Lexa were spent, laying haplessly over each other; legs tangled and fingers intertwined. The only thing going through your mind as you drifted to sleep, was that you could not wait for the rest of your lives together now that you had found true happiness. Now that you had found Lexa.

As you about to succumb to sleep, you couldn't help the white hot flash of panic that tore through you.

All of this could be taken away in an instant the next time war comes.

**The End… Sadly**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be an Epilogue. We shall see.   
> Tumblr: 01shane01


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